Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Space (Shuttle) Pilot

Wow ! I actually love this! 🫨 A wonderful what if imagining , and one that could make sense ? I’m all 👀 if there’s more to this story…

Happy to hear you liked it. I love to explore what-ifs and especially wander on paths that have not yet been taken in fanfic as far as I'm aware. And, As you might have guessed, I just scratched the surface and there's still plenty to unpack here. As for the making sense...some of the things I have in mind for this might be a little...uncommon and I'm expecting not everyone to like it but that's always a risk, and its fun to go into how things imght be in such a different background setting for especially one of the characters. I definitely will revisit this universe to explore what's going on there.

Ok, I'm hooked!

Well, that was kind of the intention, lol. Hope to not disappoint.

OOh, I love this! Can't wait for more!

Great to hear you liked it. Obviously, There will be more, hopefully soon.

This is different from the show. I wasn’t expecting the ending. I wonder what Clark is up to. Is he the threat that Trask feared. I’m looking forward to more. Thank you!

Hi Songbird,

Well what can I say? Exploring different scenarios is part of the joy of fanfiction.

Happy to hear the big twist came as a surprise. I placed several big and small hints throughout the thing and was definitely curious how long it would take readers to put some things together. But obv. it was all intentionally vague, and we just scratched the surface of things.

What Clark is up to will be revealed in future parts, bit by bit. And, as these things go, not everything must be as it seems.

Clark could be the threat - or he could be (part of) the solution. That remains to be seen. Trask will pop up in the next one. Lets just say that he might be over his head.

More is to come. I'm currently writing the second installment, which will be posted either this or next week.

Glad you enjoyed it!

My thoughts were along the same lines as Songbird's regarding Trask. Then my mind went evil, as it sometimes does, and Ultrawoman showed up.

There is obviously something planned and Kal-El sounds prepared for public acceptance or resistance. Ultrawoman would be a wildcard. Could be friend, foe or anything. Whether the powers were Resplendently duplicated or Ultra transferred it would put a little chaos in Clark's life. And if they were transferred, then he would have the same chance of discovering Ultrawoman's identity that Lois has of discovering his.


As they said in Maxwell Smart, "Verry Interesting"!

Hi Shallowford,

Trask will be in the next one. The otcome of his actions remains to be seen.

Kal-El is doing strategic thinking. But he also knows there's only so much you can plan ahead, especially in a novel situation. He's gonna have to deal with the reaction on both sides of the veil the one way or another.

Oooh...now THAT would be a twisty one. I can tell you that Ultrawoman is not gonna happen soon though. That said...she...might appear at some point.
One could argue that guessing her identity would not be that hard as Clark could simply look through her mask, as well as hear her specific heartbeat. Then again, the glases and expectations work for people so...might still work as well.

Well I hope so. I hope to have the next one up soon. There's a little but important detail I'm stuck on. And I also catched a ocld which renders my brain quite useless. One these two things ar eout of the way, I'll hopefully continue soon.

Hi Nick!
But Kent, he’s such a super boy!
CAT: Could also be a great boy toy.

He could ask Lois to take him for a test drive.

Wearing dungarees, a straw hat, and chewing a straw stick as he’s gazing around in wonder at them candles that don’t smoke no more?

Been fostered by Lex Luthor, sent to the Daily Planet as a mole? Ends up falling for Lois just as his foster dad decides that he, too, would like to investigate more in depth, triggering a Greek drama of Shakespearen dimensions.

I was just joking!

/Points at Lois/

Okay, we got more deviation from the Pilot.

Did Clark hack? Is he a military intelligence plant? Or military with the intelligence of a plant? Or did you go the Gotham route and build an intelligent military plant? But no, even Perry would notice a 6ft tall, talking flytrap.

https://harleyquinn.fandom.com/wiki/Frank_the_Plant

Like an intelligence officer would.

There’s another deviation.

That’s not good.

Oh, he’s good. First using telepathy to induce pain, maybe an aneurysm and then asking if his victim is feeling all right. He is good, you gotta give him that.

I might be using Discord information here, but it sounds like this time we got a Kal-El married to Zara. And she’s not happy that he went and does the menial work of the hired help. Or, does the hired help, for that matter.

Like that he’s talking to a human, non-alien lifeform actually born on Earth?

Looky there!

What? The Alien did *not* trigger Perry’s brain issues? Also, he got Krypto-Zanex to help with the over stimulation!

Too many flashy dressed humans?
CAT:

Or a space palace orbiting a red dwarf.

Molly.

Oooh, Globuli

Awwww… Perry got a crush on his newest Page One headline

Lois: Boooooring!
Kent: I can do it. Let’s see… we got Mexico… , we got Italy… and for Aliens from outer space we got 1993 has one immigrant, 1994 had two, and in 1995 there’s 200.

He’s adorable that he still thinks he’s the one in control.

Will Lois call the cops in the form of DEA agent Call-Me-Daniel on her drug pushing partner?



Oh, you snuck this in well under the radar Can he call her ‘Ma’am’, too?

She’s also not her mother.

CAT: Someone said ‘mud fight’?

What she gonna do, scorch him with her eyes?
ZARA:

culture clash! /Gets popcorn/

she’s…overdeveloped her rank?

Yes, they dull the brain to subtle social cues, significantly reducing the chance of men understanding women.

Clark could offer her one of the pills. He could even explain they’re so she can calm down easier and not strain her heart with these … exuberant outbursts.

Doc. Klein: Interesting. I have never seen a human do this much damage to a fully grown Kryptonian.



Well, he did hire most of them.



The crowning jewel!

/Points out earlier phrasing about being emancipated/

And now Cat is trying to get Jimmy to do a false flag operation to prove the New Guy has … no interest in women.

Poor guy. Heavy weighs the head that bears the crown.

But Lois is used to investigating places no Cat has gone before.

It’s just like dealing with the Council of Elders. If at first you don’t succeed, try and convince them again.

And yet when Cat is curious and intends to investigate, it’s depravity.

LOIS: I said ‘journalist’.

Yes, immigrated from Red Krypton.

Co-opted her story? Why yes.

This is a fun tweak/expansion on exploring their states of mind!

Yes, but she needs a rescue puppy.

It’s not like this is an exceptional occurrence.

She’s very cute!

Hi, people got to be billionaires before age 25 with less skills.

Lois is not allowed to cut him down to size?

Scientific curiosity.

If it were just one thing.
Like Skywalker in The Last Jedi: Amazing. Every single thing you just said is wrong.

Yes, but he always had reasonable men as his opposite before.

/Reads this as Lois Lane being the aforementioned work environment/

Nice. So, when *were* we supposed to figure out Clark is a new arrival from Hessecks Prime?

Yes, she’s the female leader of the Harem. Got it.

Option a) smile and nod.
Option b) make a suggestive comeback.
Option c) report her to human resources for sexual harassment.

CLARK: umm…c?


Look, he chose option d, make her report him to human resources!



No, not weird. They’re called hookers and congregate at the bar during such events.

Like with the city’s leader, Mr. Luthor?

Let’s see how his alienspaining “explosions” goes with her.
LOIS:
Looks like she got it.

Nope. Also, very adorable!

Let’s hope he doesn’t love the irony.

No wonder Lex fell for her hard. She doesn’t care about sentiment, only success.

What happened?

They’re his house colors. Like the Scottish tartan used for a kilt.

The Hokey Pokey.



See? They also say infuriating men are preferable in bed. Not that *that* information is of *any* interest to her.

But what if one of his connection leads to a story?
LOIS: what if one of the connections *I* set up for him leads to *me* and him getting the story?

Good catch. He wouldn’t want to say *politician*.

Perspiration. Heart rate. Pheromones.

*Cough* Claude?

Hey, how long has he been…inserted into society?

CLARK: here it’s from a place called ‘Ralph’s Pagoda’. If he vouches with his name in it, it must be good.

Or generally anything that’s not gray gruel.

Indeed. He’s still a hick. Ick.



Yes, but considering she never died before he got there, it does seem like an odd coincidence. Also, dead Lois is only something for necrophiliacs and Lexes.

It’s also good for keeping Loises alive and satisfied.

Yes, freshly rescued Loises make for great professional caregivers.

Ah, they’re tied down for the time being.

Documenting if your spaceship is parked in front of a fire hydra (sic).

Oops?

You never, ever keep Lex Luthor for the next day.

Maybe he should express this nonchalant sentiment to Lois?
KAL-EL: huh, she got the exact same thing expression my wife had when I told her that her mother would have to stay in the guest quarters above the crew deck.

He’s a *reporter*!

Because he mentioned marriage.



She can also report live how the bomb looks before it blows up.

Canon Lois: Hey!

/Inserts picture of Landsknecht uniform. Looks just like the Swiss Guard/

It looks good when he gets sucked into an aircraft engine.

Rrrrright.

Something she and Cat got in common.

Oops?

You know, we never had a fic where it went to other way.



And all because of one nosey reporter. Poor colonists, prevented from ascending to heaven.

This could be a fun name for Clark’s uniform. Scratch the whole ‘super man’ idea.
LOIS: Spandex Guy, HELP!

Yes, it’s because he’s full of hot air.


The sad part is that the most obvious answer would be Lex, and she’s getting prepped to entertain him.



Sweet interaction!

PERRY: Gas leak. Mass hallucinations. You got video?

He can read minds. It’s why he’s always looking like his cape when in the presence of Cat.



LOIS: What? It was far less objectifying than Hot Stud and Perry wouldn’t go for Spandex Guy. Something about trademark issues…

Yes, the little princeling is quite full of himself.
LEX: I’m much fuller than him!

Do you know the Invincible series? Omni-Man and the Viltrumite Empire ring quite a few bells.
Not really. They still rely on manual labor to reach orbit.

‘problem’

No, the Earthbound human is simply lazy. /Inserts cross reference to ‘Spagoda, Ralph’/

Good. He already has had several requests for mating.

Could have gone better. Other organizations are far better suited to influencing the masses. /Points at Met Star, National Inquisitor, Daily Whisper, and LNN/

Yes, but he could simply let the problem drop.

This wasn’t meant as a surprise, was it? You know, if you had written ‘Lord Nor’ on the other hand…

Very entertaining piece of alternate universe

Michael

All further FDK for this first installment can go here. The so-far existing comments will be moved here soon as well.
Story is here:
https://www.lcficmbs.com/ubb/ubbthreads.php/topics/300670/space-shuttle-pilot-1-1

Hi Michael,
well, that's a long one. So...let's dive in...
[But Kent, he’s such a super boy!]
JORDAN: No no no, that's another fic series, Miss Grant. Set several years in the past of...this one. Please don't hit on my dad!
[He could ask Lois to take him for a test drive.]
Urm...he wants to REDUCE his stres level, not highten it!
[Wearing dungarees, a straw hat, and chewing a straw stick as he’s gazing around in wonder at them candles that don’t smoke no more?]
Well, at least the canles issue, he could easily solve with some proper use of heat vision.

[Been fostered by Lex Luthor, sent to the Daily Planet as a mole? Ends up falling for Lois just as his foster dad decides that he, too, would like to investigate more in depth, triggering a Greek drama of Shakespearen dimensions.]
Nope, not Vat-Super-Man, LOL. Also...sometihng tells me Kal-El would not let Lex get to close in his...investigations of Lois.

[I was just joking!]
Never joke about Lex Luthor! You might just regret it!

[/Points at Lois/]
ROFL
Not wrong though.

[Okay, we got more deviation from the Pilot.]
Honestly...this kind of stuff is less "major deviation" and more "I hate to do all the copy-pasting of dialogue and just go along with the basic skeleton of the plot and maybe an iconic quote here and there and then do the rest on my own". Makes it easier (and my writing go faster) plus I can be sure to not "steal" anyone's script. This is not meant to be of much relevance here.
Also, Perry, as you see below, gets...different, less insecure, vibes form "Clark" this time, so he might be a bit more willing to give that guy a chance.

[Did Clark hack? Is he a military intelligence plant? Or military with the intelligence of a plant?]
Well, he kind of wanted to make sure he has...better chances to get there, so yeah, some Krypto-tech might have been used. Perry is an attention-filled man though. Also, don't worry, as far as this writer knows, Carlton is AWU: alive, well, and unaware.

[Or did you go the Gotham route and build an intelligent military plant? But no, even Perry would notice a 6ft tall, talking flytrap.]
Well, technically, Kryptonians do photosynthesis, so therefore, could be considered a plant, I assume.

[Like an intelligence officer would.]
Welllll...

[There’s another deviation.]
Well, Kal had to some some...improvisation. And its easier to observe these from...above. Also, whether its geckos or birds...doesn't really matter in the end for the result.
OK seriously, just another glitch where I didn't check out the detailed OG line and just went with my memory. Whatever, works anyway.

[Oh, he’s good. First using telepathy to induce pain, maybe an aneurysm and then asking if his victim is feeling all right. He is good, you gotta give him that.]
Oooh, that...was not what I was going for. I can...see though why you would think so...but nope, that was just meant to mirror the "parva leaves" scene, but since its from Perry's POV this time...]

[I might be using Discord information here,]
EVIL READER! Don't you know that the shiny spoiler buttons are there for a reason? So that, for instance, people are supposed not to click on them *before* reading the story they are spoiling things about? Shame on you!
[but it sounds like this time we got a Kal-El married to Zara.]
Uh, that was actually meant to be refer to the "having too much work to handle and being overworked" bit, and less so the "married, listen to my wife" bit. Hmm...maybe I need to make that more clear?
That said, Zara *will* pop up eventually. Not gonna tell though in which capacity, since *that* would be SPOILERS again!
[And she’s not happy that he went and does the menial work of the hired help. Or, does the hired help, for that matter.]
This..aspect of both "Clark Kent" and especially "Superman" will definitely come up with the Kryptonians in osme regards, so much can be said.

[Like that he’s talking to a human, non-alien lifeform actually born on Earth?]
Well...Perry's good, but...everyone is biased on some...basic assumptions?

[What? The Alien did *not* trigger Perry’s brain issues? Also, he got Krypto-Zanex to help with the over stimulation!]
Nope, he didn't. And like, he needs Perry in good shape, cause if he loses his position, he doesn't know who will replace him and how this perosn will deal with...certain...kinds of potential front-page news. So its in his own interest...or he just wants to be nice. Or both.
And yeah, all the supersenses kicking in must have caused him some trouble. He had to do something against that.]

[Too many flashy dressed humans?]
Says the extra-flashy dressed Kryptonian superhero...

[Or a space palace orbiting a red dwarf.]
/nods/

[Molly.]
/looks confused/

[Oooh, Globuli]
Well, only that the globe of the owner would...not exactly look like you'd expect.

[Awwww… Perry got a crush on his newest Page One headline :D]
ROTFLOL

[Lois: Boooooring!]
Indeed!
[and for Aliens from outer space we got 1993 has one immigrant, 1994 had two,]
Are you really sure LC's relationship will go down tha tfast for the super twins to be born next year? IDK, they just tend to have some...issues...to sourt out first...
[and in 1995 there’s 200.]
Hmm, someone read ahead?

[He’s adorable that he still thinks he’s the one in control.]
He needs to preserve himself some nice illusions to keep this ship sailing.

[Will Lois call the cops in the form of DEA agent Call-Me-Daniel on her drug pushing partner?]
LOIS: PARTNER?!!!! Don't you dare!

[Oh, you snuck this in well under the radar]
Honestly, it *is* confusing how this works these days in some languages/cultures. Especially with there be more freedom in name choices post-marriage. I'm not even sure if there are any "official" rules on this (and if people keep to these) anymore. It must be so much harder when you have to adapt to an entirely different planet!

[She’s also not her mother.]
...except when she's going into a babbly rant.

[CAT: Someone said ‘mud fight’?]
Don't Cats hate anything wet?

[What she gonna do, scorch him with her eyes?]
He should be fire-proof! Well that is, until she somehow gets Ultrawoman powers...
MET STAR HEADLINE: Daily Planet building mysteriously destroyed duirng argument of the top reporters!

[culture clash! /Gets popcorn/]
Yup, culture clash, space edition.

[she’s…overdeveloped her rank?]
LOL that's a way to put it.

[Yes, they dull the brain to subtle social cues, significantly reducing the chance of men understanding women.]
Wait, that *can* even be reduced?

[Clark could offer her one of the pills. He could even explain they’re so she can calm down easier and not strain her heart with these … exuberant outbursts.]
That...might not be to his benefit. A calmed down, focussed Lois might be able to pay more attention to...certain things...he might not want her to find out yet...

[Doc. Klein: Interesting. I have never seen a human do this much damage to a fully grown Kryptonian.]
ROFL

[]
Well, he knows how it works from the other side of the matter, so...

[Well, he did hire most of them.]
Well that...and there's also that weird Elvis-obsessed EIC. Glass houses and all.

[The crowning jewel!]
I'm sure he could help her learn omre about how crowning works in...some...places.

[/Points out earlier phrasing about being emancipated/]
LOIS: Yeah, I'm...subtle. Cat is...not. That's about it!

[Poor guy. Heavy weighs the head that bears the crown.]
Exactly. He's just too used to all sorts of people trying to gain his attention to do..things for them cue his position and all that.

[But Lois is used to investigating places no Cat has gone before.]
LOL. Also, Selina might have to say something about that...

[It’s just like dealing with the Council of Elders. If at first you don’t succeed, try and convince them again.]
Pretty much so, yup! The trick is to find the right arguments, mostly such that will make them feel they win something out of it.

[And yet when Cat is curious and intends to investigate, it’s depravity.]
DAILY PLANET: Perry darling, could you bring me to bed please?

LOIS: I said ‘journalist’.]
CAT: Hey, I'm reporting on things people are interested in. It counts!

[Yes, immigrated from Red Krypton.]
It can give you...perspectives.

[This is a fun tweak/expansion on exploring their states of mind!]
Well, I'm trying to insert some fun here. NExt one is going to be a bit...darker in osme regards, so we need that, too. And..its Lois, so what else did you expect?

[Yes, but she needs a rescue puppy.]
KRYPTO: /wave/ New ficlet, anyone?

[It’s not like this is an exceptional occurrence.]
LOIS: But I always survived. Shouldn't that count for something?
SHOW WRITER: Well, that's...a bit of a plothole, admittedly. But we kind of needed a living Lois to start before Superman arrives. Its called suspension of disbelief.

[She’s very cute!]
Something tells me she would not be happy to be called that.

[Hi, people got to be billionaires before age 25 with less skills.]
/points at Alt-Jimmy/

[Lois is not allowed to cut him down to size?]
She...could ask her old highschool friend for shampoo to do that for her?

[If it were just one thing.
Luke Skywalker in The Last Jedi: Amazing. Every single thing you just said is wrong.]
Yeah, well, if he had to screw up, could as well have done it properly.
KAL-EL and LOIS: Not funny!

[Yes, but he always had reasonable men as his opposite before.]
Erm...do you really think *reasonalbe* and *Lord Nor* belong in the same sentence?

[/Reads this as Lois Lane being the aforementioned work environment/]
ROFL. BUT...you may not be entirely wrong. Not that Kal would admit to that. He can be a bit of a lunkhead sometimes, regardless of upbringing.

[Nice. So, when *were* we supposed to figure out Clark is a new arrival from Hessecks Prime?]
I definitely left a number of clue along the way but also at the same time trying not to give too much away. It was kind of an experiemtn to watch and see how long readers would need to figure it out. Of course, the experiment fails when the data is manipulated (i.e. sneaky readers causing discord by cheating with Discord).
But yeah...this was one of the more obvious ones.
(For those who're lost in the sauce, according to www.kryptonian.info, twellians are Kryptonian fruits. Semi-comparable to lemons. So, that was kind of an nerd knowledge detail I spontaneoulsy included while writing)

[Yes, she’s the female leader of the Harem. Got it.]
Why is your dirty mind ALWAYS going to these naughty places? This is the g-fic section, remember? You just told me that.
That said...I'm sure if Kal would be interested in having one, if he's so inclined, he will get a lot of...offers once his debut is done. Lois in this AU is a bit less...drooling over him, as you'll see when this continues, so she might not be one of them. But then, Kal might enjoy a challenge... (no wait, that would basically make him Lex. Ah, forget about that last bit)

[Look, he chose option d, make her report him to human resources!]
KAL: Ah, good, I'd have had to make an appointment with these anyway, thank you for saving me the need to make one for myself. It's much apreciated]

[No, not weird. They’re called hookers and congregate at the bar during such events.]
Also known as being objectified. As said: Society is weird. Rich one, all the more.

[Like with the city’s leader, Mr. Luthor?]
KAL-EL: /confused/ I thought the name of the city elder was Frank Berkowitz? Must have some data inconsisties there. Kelex, please re-evaluate this for me?
KELEX: I got you, Babe.
KAL: ...huh?

]Nope. Also, very adorable!]
Well, he might have a soft spot for...soft humans.

[Let’s hope he doesn’t love the irony.]
Hmm, If he gets Tony Stark out of the picture, he could become Irony Man.

[No wonder Lex fell for her hard. She doesn’t care about sentiment, only success.]
That's an...interesting perspective.
I assume, a case can be made that this particular iteration of the (male) main character is, in some regards, a lot more LEx than Clark, so to speak, in the way he thinks...sort of...not really...a bit...argh, how do I get out of this hole now?


[What happened?]
Lex...was unwilling to give private interviews and/or let his guests wait?

[They’re his house colors. Like the Scottish tartan used for a kilt.]
Cool theory. Didn't even think about that. I like.

[The Hokey Pokey.]
I was just assuming for some reason that Kryptonian dances might be a little different from Earth ones. Strange thought, I know.

[See? They also say infuriating men are preferable in bed. Not that *that* information is of *any* interest to her.]
Naaah... Wait, are you implying here Lois/Lex should have happened? Eek! AH, I'm sure Kal can be...enfuriating if he wants to. Plus bonus, glowing laser eyes on request!

[But what if one of his connection leads to a story?]
Then...Lois would investigate said connection to make sure Clark has not a corrupt source and if she stumbles abrout a story on the way, that's just a coincidence.

[LOIS: what if one of the connections *I* set up for him leads to *me* and him getting the story?]
He would gently allow her to take most of the story credit while he is busy trying to find out how to use what they learned best for...the future of everyone involved. Or, alternately, making sure there's not enough story left to print. Depends on what's going on, an dmaybe his mood today.
LOIS So, guess that means I should make sure to keep him feed him properly?

[Good catch. He wouldn’t want to say *politician*.]
More like, (potential) "ruler-in-training" but...yeah. A quirky lunkhead stays a quirky lunkhead, even if he has a super-fast Kryptonian mind this time around.

[Perspiration. Heart rate. Pheromones.]
Basically, yep. Its good Lois is so dismissive of Mr. Farm Boy. Otherwise, he'd really get into trouble soon enough with his sliders.

[*Cough* Claude?]
He-who-shall-not-be-named, indeed.

[Hey, how long has he been…inserted into society?]
We will hear a bit more on this in the enxt one, but since its not a spoiler at this point: about six months. so, he knows the basics ans has done some (global) exploring, but there's still some, er, learning curve to follow here. (cause if there weren't, where would be the fun?)
Its also kind of an Inverse to canon Clark who was made as much a regular human as possible as an emphasis. Kal-El, in this AU, is...kind of the opposite, but also...not, if that makes sense? And, also, Clark is the secret identity this time. IDK, found that was an interesting dynamic.

[CLARK: here it’s from a place called ‘Ralph’s Pagoda’. If he vouches with his name in it, it must be good.]
Earth Culture Lesson #627: Nope, it just means he has a good attorney on his side.

[Or generally anything that’s not gray gruel.]
You're quite good of following my implications on those little tihngs. Yeah, Krypto-food is not all tha tasty most of the time. Plus, with all the senses heightened, super taste would totally be a thing.

[Yes, but considering she never died before he got there, it does seem like an odd coincidence.]
KAL: Good argumentation. Better safe than sorry, as they say.
[Also, dead Lois is only something for necrophiliacs and Lexes.]
Welll...there is this fic by Pam Jernigan where Clark starts a romance with a Ghost Lois...so...

[It’s also good for keeping Loises alive and satisfied.]
VEry true. Thoguh, wouldn'te being alive alone be...satisfying? Ah, knowing you, that was not what you wee implying. But yeah, there sure might be some...creative opportunities coming from that...if/when both are...interested.

[[Yes, freshly rescued Loises make for great professional caregivers.]]
COUNCIL LEADER: So, point #1 for the next report, how many Loises does Earth offer? And what's the best ways to get them into trouble to be saved from...?

[Ah, they’re tied down for the time being.]
Yup, that's that bit.
I must admit, the order of some scenes might differ a bit from the actual episode. Most of this has hardly a story reaosn though, its just that I didn't checked everything out blow-by-blow and just went with all the things that seemed important, and then just wroe them down. That might get a bit better frot he next installments as I found a site with relatively-well written episodes' synopsis for the first 3,5 seasons.

[Documenting if your spaceship is parked in front of a fire hydra]
KAL-EL: Apparently, there have been gaps in my briefing. I was convinced HYDRA was...the other universe. I'm not properly prepared to deal with these weird people!

[Oops?]
Yeah, it happens to the best of us. He can blame Luthor for his bad timing when he finally visits him.

[You never, ever keep Lex Luthor for the next day.]
KAL: But...I have a lot of things to juggle and priorities. Lex...is just a mere human who has nothing against me. What could he possibly do? Nah, he can wait.

[Maybe he should express this nonchalant sentiment to Lois?]
He's smart enough to know that'd not be well-taken. And like...there's a different perception of events. Lois thinks she might just die. Kal, on the other hand, totally knows they'll get out of this. It makes you act and feel differently. He gets this. Which is why he shows a sympathetic reaction instead of calling her out for her "whining" again like on the ball.

[He’s a *reporter*!]
Yeah, but maybe...cetain...people wer enot fond of this idea?
Also, for those who want to deny that claim: he does report, so...that makes him a reporter, technically.

[Because he mentioned marriage.]
That's...an interesting line of thought.

[]
Well, Lois knows Perry had a point. But she can't just admit that. Cause she's never wrong in this regard. That's a FACT.

[She can also report live how the bomb looks before it blows up.]
Weeel...live reporting in a newspaper is...difficult.

[Canon Lois: Hey!]
So...while neither of them will be flawless (cause that would just be boring) this is also kind of an AU featuring the Smart versions of Clark an dLois, so to speak. As in, what would happen if they wouldn't make dumb decisions all the time because the TV plot demands them to? Which...doesn't mean they're not going to make some regardless, but I hope it to be less than in canon. I'm trying.

[It looks good when he gets sucked into an aircraft engine.]
Deadbeat argument!

[Rrrrright.]
Self-awareness is not..always..their storn gsuit, isn't it?

[Something she and Cat got in common.]
That's...oof. LOL

[Oops?]
Yeahhh...Kal has to work on his secrecy skills.
I don't think its a huge spoiler to say that if/when Lois will learn the secret (or at least THAT part of the secret) its not going to take 44 installments to get there...

[You know, we never had a fic where it went to other way.]
Uh, that's...a good point. It makes sense though? Like the explosion would lead the gas remnant to rise up rather than downwards. Its easier and physics also. Thus, I nver questioned that particular bit.

[And all because of one nosey reporter. Poor colonists, prevented from ascending to heaven.]
You realize that this statement would be even more funny in German, right?
...
(for those lost in translation, we use the same term for both "heaven" and "sky"

[This could be a fun name for Clark’s uniform. Scratch the whole ‘super man’ idea.
LOIS: Spandex Guy, HELP!]
ROTFLOL
Yeah, Clark could have made it worse. Stupid names tend to stick with people, even if they are aware of the real one...

[Yes, it’s because he’s full of hot air.]
Oh my this is too hilarious! I laugehd SO hard! And not even wrong. I can't!

[The sad part is that the most obvious answer would be Lex, and she’s getting prepped to entertain him.]
Lex would not have had enough time to do that yet. And...no spoilers, but...lets just say that Lois/Lex is not going to be a tihng around this time really...for a number of reasons. Or, should it come to it, it will not play out th eusual way...Aaand that's all I'll allow myself to say.

[]
Hey, I'm sure Martha would appreciate to know.

[Sweet interaction!]
Kal doesn't get a lot of opportunities like this. Must make the best of it. Its also meant to show some character traits to ballance out some...others /wink/
And also, he's definitely curious what the huma research might come up with there, if anything. Its kinda sad the show never went back on that, like it didn't with so many other things and plotlines that were only made for one episode. I hope to keep some people around for more than the one ep they were originally in since I have no problem with casting issues so solve. Benefits of written fic.

[PERRY: Gas leak. Mass hallucinations. You got video?]
Oy, Good counter! As for video...I'm sure the space travel prep center would have one...somewhere..? Definitely today. Not sure about back in the day. I left it kind of ambigous (on purpose) when this is set, so...eh.

[He can read minds.]
So *that* is where Traks got that idea? Its from Lois telling him about that inconsistency during the polygraph test...

[]
Well yeah. I did debate with myself back and forth whethe ror not to include JM. I originally was gonna wihtout them but them I realized it would be a lot more fun with them around. Which then bite me because I had to figure out what they know an ddon't know (more on this later) and how they fit in. I think I found it out now so I can continue.]

[LOIS: What? It was far less objectifying than Hot Stud and Perry wouldn’t go for Spandex Guy. Something about trademark issues…]
ROFL, once more. Kal's resistance against that particular name is probably going to be a running gag. We'll see how good he'll be able to escape it.

[Yes, the little princeling is quite full of himself.]
I mean, he might be tame(ish) for a Kryptonian in his views on these things, and this thought is actually mostly just meant a pragmatic notice of fact rather than actual feel of supremacy in the way it might read here, but yeah he's definitely a proud Kryptonian. And like...there are thoe who are worse...
[LEX: I’m much fuller than him!]
...like HIM, for instance!

[Do you know the Invincible series? Omni-Man and the Viltrumite Empire ring quite a few bells.]
Oh absolutely, and definitely has given some inspiration to this. So did a little Earth: Final Conflict, and some Resident Alien as well. Don't worry though. Kal is..most likely..not going to fry/rip apart Lois or...other people we care about. He's more a Da'an than a Nolan, I'd say.
But I will also say that the Invincible parallels...might be there, and that he will do...some things that might not sit well with every reader. I'm aware of tihs, but it's an AU and an experiment. We'll see where it goes. I'm a fan of (mostly) happy ends though so the toybox won't be completely damaged, so much I can safely promise.

[Not really. They still rely on manual labor to reach orbit.]
Honestly, the science comment is a bit of a jab on my part on how the science in the show as in the what is possible an dall, seems to be so much ahead to the time it was being aired, despite them essentially implying its set in the (back-then) present. So, what the Kryptonians know to exist is basically the reality of that time, while what is actually going on, is the show sutff. Hope tha tmade sense? Ah, its just me having some fun.

[‘problem’ ]
Yeah, just an entire shuttle of colonists not being able to start on its own. The point being made/the implication is that if they are willing to trust his guideance there, chances are they will in other areas as well. Which may or may not be true. There...might be a reason why he keeps it vague on this and why he decided to share that particular assumption.

[No, the Earthbound human is simply lazy.]
Yeah, not wrong, way of the simpley resistance and all. But it is in line with this argument. And, the above said stil stands. It will make more sense going forward...I hope. This is just setting the stage a bit.
[/Inserts cross reference to ‘Spagoda, Ralph’/]
Also...HOW(!!) were you able to know I gave him just that name for the Planet meeting in the second installment that is ont even published yet? That...HOW?!

[Good. He already has had several requests for mating.]
That's...actually not one of his goals here. (which is, note, not the same as saying it definitely won't happen) There are...reasons why that might actually be counter-interests. Again, mor eon that front, another time.

[Could have gone better. Other organizations are far better suited to influencing the masses. /Points at Met Star, National Inquisitor, Daily Whisper, and LNN/ ]
If the information he gets form there are not reliable, than it's a waste of time. Also, as far as possible, he wants to get through to the 'intelligent' part of the public, not those who will eat up everything anyway.

[Yes, but he could simply let the problem drop.]
...off his extra-high balcony?

[This wasn’t meant as a surprise, was it?]
Well yes and no? As in...I purposefully kept that particular bit of the twist until the very end. The hardest bit was probably to make sure to never use a self-reference name while in "ClarkPOV". That was harder than you'd think. You won't believe how many accidental "Clark's" or "Kal's" I had to delete while writing.
However, I absolutely, also on purpose, place a number of hints, some small, some big, throughout the entire thing, many of which you pointed out correctly. Then again, you chose to cheat, so its hard to say...but I'm fairly sure you'd have picked up quite a few of them anyway, after seeing your detective work on the GTA ficathon.
It was definitely an experiemtn out of curiosity on when readers would find out what's going on, how much they'd find out, and how much of a surprise the final end twist would be to them. Up to now, I had 8 people (6 here, 2 on AO3) commenting on this, and from at least half of them I know they didn't get the whole idea until the end, so maybe without the extra info it's not tha tobvoius? Hard to say as the writer. Expectatoins certainly matter, too.
There was no definitive "point" where I expected people to "get it" though. It was just a drop-hints-and-see-what-they'd-think kind of thing. I got different results and that's neat.
[You know, if you had written ‘Lord Nor’ on the other hand…]
Now, *THAT* would have been an evil twistie! I have doubts though that Nor would have been properly suited for the job. He might have the charisma to charm the public if needed, but he definitely doens't have the patience, the strategic long-term thinking, or the control over his temper this kind of task would require. He'd end up bieng Homelander wihtin the first episode.

[Very entertaining piece of alternate universe]
Glad you enjoyed it. As said, Part tow is "on the way.
/looks at calendar/ TWO MONTHS?! Where did all the time go? Gah!!
Also hope the quting worked fine... I tried something else again because using the original function would probably have resulted in a mess again.
Nick

Hi Nick!
Yeah…



Actually, I was referring to how Cat wanted to determine domestic vs import. This sort of activity should reduce stress level. Unless it’s done competitively. Of course, Clark would be competing with a Frenchmen in that discipline…

I’m not sure Perry would appreciate if his lightbulbs all blow up.


KAL-EL: See? I got a certificate of ownership.

See persons buried in Metropolis landfill.

Ah, yes. Me, I copy & paste the dialogue and then add about 10x the amount of text as exposition

LOIS (after getting dumped by Clark): Which would explain the brains…

Ooops?

They highlight stuff you should notice while scrolling the scroll?

Ooops? I did retreat from said spoiler once I realized you were discussing a story you are posting instead of the mating habits of the Kryptonian Bipedal Muttonheaded Dolt.

Oh, and here I actually thought it was medication for getting sensory overload. But the wife-angle was much more fun so I went with that one.

Zara’s gonna remark on her husband doing the hired help?
LOIS: I am *NOT* the hired help!

Yes, but this *is* Metropolis. They even have military personal hunting down illegal aliens on a regular basis.

You know, Superman dressing in bright lime green and hot pink might be a … fun experience.

Party name for Extasy. I know, more of a stimulant, but it should at least make him care less about his troubles?

Oops< I was referring to the little sugar balls sold for their weight in gold at Alternative Medicine stores.

No no, 1993 it’s Clark. 1994, it’s Zara and Ching.

Well… the Kryptonian Invasion is kind of a staple when you do New Krytpon? Which reminds me… there’s nothing to see. Move along. No new story update is posted. Keep moving please. And we thank you for taking your pitchforks with you.

PERRY: You push my buttons, honey, and I push right back. Now, take your new partner and show him the archive.
LOIS: Fine. I’ll even be so nice and, also show him the printing press. He better *not* stumble and fall into it, though…

According to television, you are not supposed to imply a woman is anything but a spry 22-year-old.





Considering what Clark did and the fact that the human race has not yet died out, apparently there’s an average. And a way to go below said average.

That’s not the expected outcome.

Okay, I’m sure you did not just make a birthing reference…

SELINA: I took out the trash already /points at weirdly-eastern-looking heiress/ and the compost /points at leaves and red hair/. Your point being?



LOIS: And I do not?
CAT: Too easy.

Chocolate bars?



They mastered cloning way before the show started?

/shrugs/

True.

/takes another handful of popcorn/

KAL-EL: To be fair, I was raised in a medieval, misogynist society as a member of the ruling class. It gives you a … slightly different perspective of what a “reasonable man” is compared to other people.

HAN SOLO VOICE: It wasn’t *my* fault!

There was a TV documentation a couple of years ago. They explained that it was more of a nunnery. A place of study and contemplation.
HENRY VIII: *Nunnery*



Kelex has a very Sunny disposition!
KELEX: Reference: Nor, Lord. The factual ruler of New Krypton, Nor was able to trick his political rival into voluntary exile on a primitive world while he himself was able to secure an alliance with Zara, the former wife from birth of Kal-EL.





If you keep burrowing, you will pop out on the other end?

I *was* referring to said lunkhead.

Oooh, this means he can Kiss her and make everything okay again?

I might have a similar scene in an unpublished part of my New Krypton story…

I read it. I don’t remember it but I read all the Pam fic Erm… I did manage to forgot some details of some fic I read. There were…many.



Lex could go into mass production?

Actually, I was referring to the actual gorgon of Greek mythology.

He’s very mature for an overgrown princeling. Not very much like Joffrey at all.

People often want what they can’t have or believe is not good for them.

See Lois Lane Handbook Rule number 1. And Rule number 7. And Rule number 43.

But much more funny!

Oh, look. Story’s over in three parts.

Nope.



I know.

Aaactualy, you can use it that way in English, too, mainly for space stuff. Which is where he’s taking them to.

You are very welcome!

Oh? Lex figured out he prefers elder British chaps?

Oh, they had records. They might classify them, though.

He could switch to painted leather?



/notices how evil writer said ‘toy *box*’ instead of ‘toys’.

Hey, I was just making fun of Kal-El being needed to carry the shuttle into orbit.

That one’s easy! Olympe / Lara Joelle Kent used the name in her Just Like Lois series (fic one, believe) and I think she got it from an earlier fic. Hmm… A New Hero, Chapter 38 by Classicalla. Later on, it was also used by Virgina in Wrong Clark.



Yes, but if you control 90% of the masses, you don’t need to care about the 10%.

It *is* a solution to the problem.

Oh yes. I did notice.

I honestly didn’t expect it, or remember it going in. But since Clark was being so weird, there weren’t many options and the alien plant would have been the final piece of the puzzle.

Oh yes. I love those. Did you ever check out the Who’s Talking ficlets on the Challenge Board?

I don’t know. I once did a beta job and pointed out that Lois must be pregnant when the story opened up with Lois prepping a meal for husband Clark and wanting to surprise him.

Hmm… I just re-read my FDK (the relevant part): The bit that stuck in my head (correct or wrong) was that there’s a recent story about Kal-El coming to Earth, probably already married to Zara. So, the wife bit was actually the biggest hint here And sensory overload a couple of lines later would have cinched it otherwise for me.


True. Or a chimpanzee throwing his fecal matter against the wall.

/points at giant black hole in middle of galaxy/

It worked okay for me

Oh dear, this got to be another 10 pages. Hey at least it’s shorter than the previous one

Michael

Hi Michael,
[Actually, I was referring to how Cat wanted to determine domestic vs import. This sort of activity should reduce stress level. Unless it’s done competitively. Of course, Clark would be competing with a Frenchmen in that discipline…]
Ah yeah...

[I’m not sure Perry would appreciate if his lightbulbs all blow up.]
Its not that long until the office will be taken apart when the Dragonetti crew comes along, so what are a few lightbulbs a little earlier?

[KAL-EL: See? I got a certificate of ownership.]
LOIS: Just wait until I somehow get your powers and we will have a...discussion about what you just implied.

[See persons buried in Metropolis landfill.]
Yup...

[Ah, yes. Me, I copy & paste the dialogue and then add about 10x the amount of text as exposition]
Uh-huh...and then that leads to the writers responding with more exposition taking the time from writing new fics instead so that you don't have to read and comment on them in the meantime...a truly wicked masterplan!

[LOIS (after getting dumped by Clark): Which would explain the brains…]
Its not *his* fault that the Kryptonian brain works...a little differently than that of humans. That can lead to miscommunication.

[Ooops? ]
You're forgiven. Also, seeing different interpretations of the text is always fun.

[They highlight stuff you should notice while scrolling the scroll?]
Going by the principle, the forbidden candy is the best one?

[Ooops? I did retreat from said spoiler once I realized you were discussing a story you are posting instead of the mating habits of the Kryptonian Bipedal Muttonheaded Dolt.]
Good attempt at saving. I usually try to make it clear what the direction of the spoiler could be about so everyone knows whether to click on them or not. I assume that doesn't always succeed though - and some are just to curious for their own good.

[Oh, and here I actually thought it was medication for getting sensory overload.]
Well it was. On Kal's part at least.
[But the wife-angle was much more fun so I went with that one.]
Wife-angle? Is that a...certain position?

[Zara’s gonna remark on her husband doing the hired help?]
don't hang up too much on Zara. She will, obviously, appear at some point but I'm not going to talk about in which capacity that might be.
What I meant to say is that...not every Kryptonian (which may or may not include Zara, before you ask again) will be...exactly happy about the way how CLark decides to do things on that planet. And now I better keep my mouth shut before I reveal too much.
[LOIS: I am *NOT* the hired help! ]
Nope, you are the one who orders the hired help (read: Jimmy) around! Gotcha.

[Yes, but this *is* Metropolis. They even have military personal hunting down illegal aliens on a regular basis.]
And that before said alien even revealed (or knew in the first place) to be an alien... I think I can say that I tried to fix this one a bit in my version. Coming sooooon.

[You know, Superman dressing in bright lime green and hot pink might be a … fun experience. ]
Maybe? I honestly can't judge, for obvious reasons.

[Party name for Extasy. I know, more of a stimulant, but it should at least make him care less about his troubles?]
If he want Perry to be exstatic, I'm sure he could reach that as well by granting the DP an exclusive Superman interview as well...

[Oops< I was referring to the little sugar balls sold for their weight in gold at Alternative Medicine stores.]
Yeah, I understood that. Just tried to do a stupid pun.couldn't resist.

[No no, 1993 it’s Clark. 1994, it’s Zara and Ching.]
Uh-uh, what have they done to be exiled? Ah, broke the acceptable marriage laws? Hmm... Also, what is Lois going to do when suddenly there's a female Kryptonian available for the attention of...someone...she...might have a slight interest in? Hmm...

[Well… the Kryptonian Invasion is kind of a staple when you do New Krytpon?]
OK thats a Fai...Wait a hot minute, who was talking about New Krypton? Be careful with your assumptions!

[Which reminds me… there’s nothing to see. Move along. No new story update is posted. Keep moving please. And we thank you for taking your pitchforks with you.]
What about we make a deal? *YOU* continue your own "related" WIP that has not been updated for...15 years...and THEN, *I* might consider updating mine? Glass house, is all I'll say.

[PERRY: You push my buttons, honey, and I push right back. Now, take your new partner and show him the archive.]
KAL-EL: Humans are weird. Why would they collect over 4000 fictional works centered around a reporter couple and their misadventures? I'm usnure about what conclusions I could draw from this apparent obsession.

[[According to television, you are not supposed to imply a woman is anything but a spry 22-year-old.]
KAL (confused): ...but Chief, you told me to never trust in anything television says, and that only the Printed Word contains the truth??

[Considering what Clark did and the fact that the human race has not yet died out, apparently there’s an average. And a way to go below said average.]
CLARK: I'm not around long enough to draw long-time conclusions. Just give me a few years and we'll reconsider this, okay?

[That’s not the expected outcome.]
Let me guess: you want me to cut the "out" out of this sentence?

[Okay, I’m sure you did not just make a birthing reference…]
Wha...no, that was not...why you...ARRGH!

[LOIS: And I do not?
CAT: Too easy.]
LOIS: Just because I totally make use of the fact that the person that I spent 90% of my articles writing about is into me and thus delivers me information, interviews and so on, more than to any other journalist, does *NOT* mean its easy!
CAT: Rrright!

[Chocolate bars?]
She might need to keep them somewhere else. Some...other...new reporter could eat them instead otherwise.

[]
Well, the opportunity was too good to let pass it on.

[They mastered cloning way before the show started?]
Reasonably enough of an explanation. Now the ultimate question is: How many Lois(s)es did they have to cover before C.K. joinded the DP? Given that Lois almost dies once a week, and assuming she works there for about 2-3 years, that would sum up to...

[KAL-EL: To be fair, I was raised in a medieval, misogynist society as a member of the ruling class. It gives you a … slightly different perspective of what a “reasonable man” is compared to other people.]
Fair. Though I must say, as you will eventually ifnd out, some tihngs are...different...from what LC gave us on Krypto-society. Mostly because a lot of it does not make too much sense but also because...some circumstances are different, and because I, the author, said so. More on that in future installments.

[HAN SOLO VOICE: It wasn’t *my* fault!]
That's what they all say...

[Kelex has a very Sunny disposition!]
A Sonny disposition, indeed.
[KELEX: Reference: Nor, Lord. The factual ruler of New Krypton, Nor was able to trick his political rival into voluntary exile on a primitive world while he himself was able to secure an alliance with Zara, the former wife from birth of Kal-EL.]
I'm not going to talk about which parts of this data entry are correct and which require some editing...

[]
I couldn't resist.

[If you keep burrowing, you will pop out on the other end?]
I'm the Blind Passenger, not the Blind Mole!

[I *was* referring to said lunkhead.]
Ahh...yeah, *that* works too.

[Oooh, this means he can Kiss her and make everything okay again?]
Urm...not so much. I never liked that particular trope. He'll have to be smart enough to clean up his chaos after him, whatever that includes.
LEX: No Super kisses for me? What a pity. Have to head back to Smallville section of fic...

[I might have a similar scene in an unpublished part of my New Krypton story…]
/innocently points at proposed deal above/

[I read it. I don’t remember it but I read all the Pam fic Erm… I did manage to forgot some details of some fic I read. There were…many.]
That...can happen. If you want to refresh these, go find "Tryst".

[Lex could go into mass production?]
Ah, so *THIS* is why I should keep Lex for at least an entire season worth of chapters. He's needed for delivering supplies!

[Actually, I was referring to the actual gorgon of Greek mythology. ]
I guessed that might be the case. But alas, that's where my mind went. Could be because I'm currently watching Agents of SHIELD could have played a role...

[He’s very mature for an overgrown princeling.]
He's...trying. And its not that he cares about this Lois Lane. No. Its just...keeping her on his side for...future plans. (no, not *this* kind of plans!)

[People often want what they can’t have or believe is not good for them.]
So *this* is why Lois agreed to marry Lex?

[See Lois Lane Handbook Rule number 1. And Rule number 7. And Rule number 43.]
Rule No. 1: Lois Lane is always right.
Rule No. 7: In the rare Lois that Lois Lane is not right, rule No. 1 is automatically enforced.
Rule No. 43: Lois Lane will break all her rules eventually. So, if Lois Lane is not in the right, than that's an exception from the rule, and therefore consenting with Rules #1 and #7.

[But much more funny!]
DR: KLEIN: ...you want me to invent live-printing paper? Interesting challenge!

[Oh, look. Story’s over in three parts.]
It could have been...if there were not a bunch of stupid people on two planets wanting their say...

[Nope.]
Nobody's perfect!


Yeah, SHOCKING, I know.

[Aaactualy, you can use it that way in English, too, mainly for space stuff. Which is where he’s taking them to.]
Oh OK, wasn't sure about that.

[Oh? Lex figured out he prefers elder British chaps?]
ALFRED: I'm sorry, I already have to take care of a grumpy billionaire being obsessed with flying somethings, I really don't have the capacity to deal with another one!

[Oh, they had records. They might classify them, though.]
I doubt that would hold for long. Also, Superman is going to make sure the people know of his existence the one way or another!

[He could switch to painted leather?]
ICE-AGE-KAL: /wink/

[/notices how evil writer said ‘toy *box*’ instead of ‘toys’.]
Oooh, good catch! That...may or may not have been intentional.

[Hey, I was just making fun of Kal-El being needed to carry the shuttle into orbit.]
You're good. Cause yeah, the "explanation" for that in-show was...kinda lame.

[That one’s easy! Olympe / Lara Joelle Kent used the name in her Just Like Lois series (fic one, believe) and I think she got it from an earlier fic. Hmm… A New Hero, Chapter 38 by Classicalla. Later on, it was also used by Virgina in Wrong Clark.]
Yeah, I've seen it used by others here and there, and well its fitting.
Oh right, both ANH and WC are excellent fics. Its a shame neither has been completed!

[]
PETER: With great powers comes...?
KAL-EL: ...great seduction skills?

[Yes, but if you control 90% of the masses, you don’t need to care about the 10%.]
NEVER underestimate the remaining 10%. They might just be your demise!

[It *is* a solution to the problem.]
Hey, I did not argue against that.
...You might like what I have planned there...

[Oh yes. I did notice.]
I expected nothing less from DM, also known as Detective Michael.
Also /points at treacherous Discord/

[I honestly didn’t expect it, or remember it going in. But since Clark was being so weird, there weren’t many options and the alien plant would have been the final piece of the puzzle.]
Well argumented. And yup, the Krypto-fruit was a dead giveaway for those who were aware (or willing to put up the effort go google such a minor detail)

[Oh yes. I love those. Did you ever check out the Who’s Talking ficlets on the Challenge Board?]
Never heard of these. Have to look them up at some point!

[I don’t know. I once did a beta job and pointed out that Lois must be pregnant when the story opened up with Lois prepping a meal for husband Clark and wanting to surprise him.]
And, were you correct?

[Hmm… I just re-read my FDK (the relevant part): The bit that stuck in my head (correct or wrong) was that there’s a recent story about Kal-El coming to Earth, probably already married to Zara.]
I think that was a "looking for a story" request, unrelated to whatever I was doing, or a mix up of both?
[So, the wife bit was actually the biggest hint here]
Which is all the more funny given there's been no actual "wife bit" (on Clarks side at least)
[And sensory overload a couple of lines later would have cinched it otherwise for me. ]
That's fair enough. Though it also could just have been Clark having more trouble with his powers and/or them kicking in super late (I don't think we ever had a fic with this premise yet...)

[True. Or a chimpanzee throwing his fecal matter against the wall.]
There's a difference??

[/points at giant black hole in middle of galaxy/]
Sounds plausible!

[It worked okay for me ]
Good to know!

[Oh dear, this got to be another 10 pages. Hey at least it’s shorter than the previous one]
Small achievements...

Nick