Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic True Hates Kiss

Very silly & IDK if the curse actually makes sense but just trying to clean out my google docs.

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With a gentle thud, Clark landed on his balcony. He looked through the glass panels to see Lois inside. Upon spotting him, she leaped from the couch to meet him in the living room.

“Well?” she prompted, looking up at him expectantly.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Clark turned away from her, his cheeks heating.

“You did it though, right?”

Clark didn’t answer her. Instead, he ran toward the bathroom, closing the door behind him

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Lois said from the other side of the door while he thickly layered his toothbrush with toothpaste. “Objectively speaking, Lex is an excellent—”

“Don’t say it!” Clark yelled. He shoved his toothbrush into his mouth and scrubbed hard at his tongue with the bristles.

“You did what you had to do. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Clark spat the toothpaste into the sink and looked up at himself in the bathroom mirror. His whole body shuddered as he reached for the mouthwash.

“I mean, if you enjoyed it, it’s okay…”

Clark flung the bathroom door open to face his fiancée. “Enjoyed it? He’s my mortal enemy, Lois!”

“Right—sorry.”

Clark turned back to the sink and took a hearty swig of his mouthwash, gargling loudly for a few moments before spitting it in the sink. He reached for his hand towel to dab at his face.

“Do we have any gum?”

“Oh! In my purse.” Lois ran away to find her purse, as another shudder rolled through Clark’s body.

He followed her to the living room, and Lois handed him a stick of gum, which he shoved into his mouth.

“So, what happens now?” Lois asked.

Clark shrugged, sitting down on the couch and closing his eyes. “I guess we’ll wait for Wells to tell us if it worked. If… I broke Lex’s obsession curse.”

“It will work,” Lois said firmly, taking a seat beside him, her hand coming to rest on his jittery knee. “It has to.”

“I know.” Clark hesitantly wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her toward him. “If this means you and I never have to deal with Lex again—including in any of our future lifetimes, in this universe or others— it was worth it.” He hoped he sounded convincing.

Apparently not convincing enough because Lois looked at him skeptically. “Are you sure about that?”

“He’s my enemy, Lois,” he reminded her again. “It was not pleasant… but yes, you are worth it.”

Lois kissed his cheek sweetly and he tried not to flinch.

“Well, I’m very grateful,” she said, “I’m just wondering...?”

“What?”

“Just… how did you get him to kiss you? Or did you just…?” She leaned toward him and puckered her lips. “Plant one on him?”

Clark screwed up his face in distaste. "Wells said the only way to break Lex’s obsession with you was for him to be kissed by your true love... me." He sighed loudly, and covered his eyes with his hands so he wouldn’t have to look at her while he told his story. “I, um, managed to get him alone in the prison laundry room and… well, I simply…”

“What?”

He still couldn’t look at her; his face felt hotter than hell. “I just sort of hinted that with my power and his former power… we could be amazing together and we could rule the world… um, together… and well, he was surprisingly receptive to that idea.”

Lois exhaled. “There really is a fine line between love and hate.” She mused. “So then you just kissed?”

Clark groaned, feeling like he was in physical pain. "I need more gum," he said, his hands still covering his eyes.

He sensed Lois moving beside him, and she pulled his hands away from his eyes. She moved into his lap and her lips pressed against his, giving him a long, sensual kiss.

“Better?” she asked, pulling back a little to smile at him.

“Yes…” Clark tried to catch his breath, his hands coming to rest on her hips. “Thank you.” He smiled gratefully, suddenly feeling much better.

Lois pulled his gum from her mouth. “I guess you’re done with this?”

The end

FDK can go below if you wish.

Hilarious.

Oof that was...LOL. I mean, Clark/Lex is a common Smallville pairing, with sometimes a background not *that* similar form what Clark used here, so...uh...canons mixed?
But yeah, as someone familiar with multiple versions of the dynamic between these two, that was just super hilarious. Poor Clark.
Also: had the kiss the additional side effect to make Lex forget everything about Clark? Just a thought...

Hi 90stvfangirl!

Yes, the boards happily take stuff from your google docs.

So, either tongue-in-cheek and Lois kissing Clark or it’s about Clark snogging Lex.

Okay, is it wrong to first think “morning sickness” since you did warn about crack fic?

I was right? About the Lex thing


Also…


He *could* chump on some plutonium?





Then it turns out Clark’s no longer able to…perform with Lois and the line ends.

He must be getting preeetty desperate by now.

NATIONAL WHISPER: Superman seen vandalizing cars. Appears to be chewing up tires like there’s no tomorrow.

Maybe he needs some more?

This was a fun and unexpected little viggy. I guess the date is almost perfect, too. April First would be the other option, I guess.

Michael

This is about where the penny dropped for me, and it made the already enticing intro even funnier.

I can't tell if she's ribbing him here, but it seems like not. Anyway, I appreciate her support of this!

This is an amazing justification for this.

This is bananagrams and I'm here for it. Also, awwww - love the way they've agreed that they're each others' one true love in season one.

This really tickles me because this is brilliant - this would TOTALLY work on Lex.

This was such a fun and zany little romp! I hope Wells' plan worked!

This is hilarious! Very funny! I hope it worked and the curse is broken. Thank you!