FoLC, I wrote this on steroids and antibiotics and no sleep so sorry if it's a bit silly.
***
Clark, dressed as Superman, stood in front of Dr. Klein, watching as the scientist paced around his small laboratory. He wished the good doctor would just hurry up and spit out whatever he had to say. It was late and after a busy weekend attending several major emergencies around the country, Clark just wanted to get home and spend the last few hours of the evening with his wife.
“Dr. Klein, whatever it is—” Clark started.
“I don’t have a lot of friends!” Klein burst out with, coming to a standstill in front of him. “I’ve spent my whole life dedicated to science! Carolyn is the only woman I’ve connected with in years! I can’t believe she said yes! I’m getting married, Superman!”
Clark’s eyebrows rose at this surprising news. “This is… great! I’m happy for you, Doc.” He gave the scientist a friendly pat on the shoulder.
“Yeah, thanks.” Klein smiled and ducked his head almost shyly. He turned away from Clark and began pacing the room once again.
“Was there something else?” Clark asked. He snuck a glance at the clock on the wall. 9PM. He sighed. He’d be lucky if Lois would still be awake if he didn’t get home soon. “Dr. Klein?” Clark reached a hand out and stopped him mid pace.
“Right! Sorry. It’s just…. well, I…have a favor to ask.”
Clark tried not to sound impatient. “What?”
“I was kind of hoping you might be my best man!” Klein blurted out. Off Clark’s stunned expression, he continued quickly. “I know it’s a bit out of nowhere! But you’re the closest friend I have in the city.”
Best man? Dr. Klien wanted Superman to be his best man? Clark cleared his throat. “Well… I’d love to, of course! It’s just, with me being Superman, I never know when I might get called away in an emergency. I don’t want to commit if I can’t follow through.”
Klein waved off his concern. “Oh, it’s fine. I was going to ask Clark Kent as a backup.” He reached for a bottle of liquor on his desk and poured it into a coffee mug.
Clark blinked, feeling a little thrown off. “Clark Kent? You guys are close, then?”
“Well, we’re not buddies like you and I are. I’ve never tested his semen, for example—that’s a thing I only do for best friends.” Dr. Klein raised his mug and took a swig.
Clark didn’t quite know how to respond to that, so he remained silent.
“So, will you do it?” Klein asked again, eyes still full of hope.
Clark mulled over the request for a moment. What choice did he have? Dr. Klein had just called him his best friend. It obviously meant a lot to him to have Superman stand up with him on his big day.
Clark plastered a grin on his face. “Well… of course I’ll do it.”
“Great!” Klein’s face lit up. He took another swig from his mug. “Oh, and one more thing. Carolyn has a favor to ask Lois Lane.”
***
Half an hour later, Clark slid into bed beside his wife.
“She wants me to be her maid of honor?” Lois asked, settling her head against her pillow.
“Well, technically, you’re married, so… matron of honor.”
“I don’t even know the woman!”
Clark chuckled, unsurprised by her reaction. “Yeah, that’s what I said. But I feel kind of bad for them. Both of them have dedicated their lives to science—to helping people, essentially. As a result, neither of them has many friends.”
Lois sat up slightly and narrowed her eyes at him. “Oh, so just like us, then. No friends.”
Clark smiled and gave her a gentle squeeze. “We don’t need friends, Lois. We have each other.”
Lois rolled her eyes, her head landing back down on her pillow dramatically. “Anyway… back to Dr. Klein and… what’s her name?”
“Carolyn.”
She sighed. “When is this shindig?”
“Thursday night. In the basement of STAR Labs. Then on Monday, I’m going to drop them both in Barbados. It’s their place, apparently.” He chuckled.
“Basement, huh? I guess the wedding is a casual affair, then?”
Clark shrugged. “Guess so. I’m happy to buy you a new dress if it will get you there.”
Lois gave him a teasing look. “Gosh, you are desperate.”
“The guy called me his best friend.”
“I thought I was your best friend.” She poked him in the chest.
“Well…. you are. Of course you are! I just…”
“Relax. I’ll do it. Forget the new dress, though—you can find another way to pay me back.”
Clark grinned and leaned in closer to her. “Fine.”
“But not tonight. I’m far too tired.” She closed her eyes and rolled away from him, tugging the blankets up over her body. “Good night.”
Clark frowned. “Okay… good night, then.”
***
Thursday night
“So, this is the basement of STAR Labs.”
Rows of chairs lined the concrete floor, creating a clear path for the bride’s entrance. Twinkling lights adorned the walls, casting a soft, romantic glow.
Thirty scientists in lab coats milled around, holding beakers full of champagne and making small talk with each other.
The low hum of machinery in one corner of the room filled the air with a soothing white noise.
Lois shifted beside Clark. “Maybe you should have bought me a new dress…” she whispered in his ear as they walked hand in hand. “This one’s a little tight.” She gestured to her chest, the burgundy fabric of her dress looking a little stretched over that region.
Clark took a quick, appreciative look. “Looks pretty spectacular to me.”
Lois narrowed her eyes at him, and he grinned in return. She hid a smile and turned her attention to their surroundings. “Smells like monkey in here.” She said, “I wonder if STAR Labs tests on animals. There could be a story here…”
“I don’t smell anything.”
“There’s definitely been some sort of animal down here!”
“You have a superior sense of smell now?” Clark teased.
“Seriously, you can’t smell anything?”
Clark sniffed the air. “Besides musty basement air and… well, the Doc is wearing way too much cologne.” he nodded toward an approaching tuxedo clad Dr. Klein.
“Lois! Clark! I need help with my bow tie! Oh, God, I’m so nervous!”
Lois coughed and covered her nose and mouth as the good doctor stopped in front of them, the overpowering smell of his cologne almost making her sick.
“Um, okay…” Clark stepped forward to assist his alter ego’s doctor and apparent best friend.
“Oh, Lois! Carolyn’s in the bathroom down the hall. She needs help with something girly.”
“Great…” Lois made a hasty retreat toward the exit, hand still over her nose.
“Any word on Superman’s arrival?” Klein asked Clark.
“He’s going to try his best to get here,” Clark assured him.
***
Lois knocked on the bathroom door. “Carolyn? It’s Lois Lane. Your… maid of honor.” She didn’t care what Clark said. There was no way she was referring to herself as a matron.
The door flung open, and Lois found herself being tugged into a small two cubicle bathroom. A petite redhead in a white gown stood before her, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Lois groaned. “Oh boy.”
“I’m so glad you’re here, Lois!” Carolyn threw herself into Lois’ reluctant arms.
“Great to be here. Um… Dr. Klein— Bernard —said you needed help.”
“Oh, yes, I’m fine. I’m just having a little…problem. I thought it was just wedding jitters! I have been throwing up all week and…well, now I actually think I may be… *pregnant*.” She whispered the last word.
Lois gasped. Well, this was getting interesting, at least. “Oh. Well… um, does Dr. Klein know?”
“He knows nothing.” The bride turned away and reached for her purse. “I bought some tests, but I’m too nervous to take one.” She held the box out for Lois to take.
“Oh, well, you should just do it! Pee on that stick, girl!” Lois said as encouragingly and enthusiastically as she could. Dr. Klein and Clark owed her big time for this. She pulled a test stick from the box and handed it to Carolyn.
“Really? Just do it?”
“Yes. Go. Pee!” she pushed the woman toward a cubicle. “Then I’ll fix your makeup.”
Carolyn smiled through tears and runny eye make up. “You’re such a good friend, Lois.” She shut the cubicle door behind her.
“Don’t I know it…” Lois caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror above the basin, then looked down at the box in her hand. There was one more test stick inside. “Huh…”
***
Makeup and hair done, the bride marched down the aisle toward Dr. Klein. The minister stood on one side of him, Superman and Lois on the other.
Lois caught her husband’s eye and grinned, and he smiled back. They had never been a part of a bridal party before. Aside from their own multiple wedding attempts, that was. This was far more relaxing, she decided.
“You look wonderful, darling!” Klein burst out as his soon-to-be wife came to a stop in front of him.
“I’m not pregnant!” Carolyn announced to the room.
Dr. Klein turned bright red as their guests laughed and whispered amongst themselves.
“Um… good?” he choked out.
Clark raised his eyebrows at Lois, and she shot him a look in return that said, *tell you later.*
“Ahem.” The minister cleared his throat. “Shall we begin?”
***
“I really appreciated you standing up with me today, Superman!” Dr. Klein hugged him enthusiastically.
“You’re welcome… I was more than happy to do it. You’ve been a good friend to me,” Clark said sincerely.
Dr. Klein guided him to a quiet corner of the basement, away from a group of conga-lining scientists. “As a thank-you for being here today… I’ve started working on your little… *sample* again.”
“What? I thought there was no hope?”
“Well, I’ve been picking Carolyn’s brain, and she—”
“You didn’t tell her, did you?”
“Of course not! It was all a completely hypothetical discussion, I promise! Come see me in my office on Monday before you drop us off in Barbados.”
Clark nodded, trying to process. “Alright.”
Lois approached, and he turned to smile at her.
“Superman, I’d really appreciate it if you could drop me at home,” Lois said. “Clark had that story he had to dash off to cover.”
“Of course, Lois,” he said, in his most professional Superman voice. “All the best, Doc.” He patted Dr. Klein on the shoulder, then led his wife toward the exit.
***
“I’m beat.” Lois crawled into bed beside Clark a short time later.
“Me too. It was nice, though, wasn’t it?”
“You didn’t have to deal with a hysterical bride.” Lois snuggled closer to him.
“I’m still happy to make it up to you.” Clark kissed her forehead. “Oh, hey, guess what? Dr. Klein wants to talk to Superman again. About, you know, us… having babies?”
“You don’t need to talk to him,” Lois said, her voice quiet.
Clark stroked her arm. “I know we don’t want to get our hopes up again, but he said he’s had some new ideas.”
“No, Clark, really, it’s a waste of time.”
She slipped out of his arms and crossed the room. He watched as she unzipped her purse and rummaged through it.
Clark frowned. “Lois?” He hoped he hadn’t upset her.
She came back to bed, something small in her hand. “Look.” She handed him the object. “You don’t need to see Dr. Klein. Looks like we figured it out for ourselves.”
Clark looked down at the small object—a pregnancy test! “Plus sign! You’re… pregnant?”
“The bride isn’t, but I am,” she said with a smile.
“Lois!” He pulled her into his arms, rolling them both across the bed as he smothered her with kisses.
He sat them both up after a moment. “But, how?”
Lois gave him a look.
He laughed. “I mean, I know how… I just don’t know… *how?*”
“Dr. Klein was wrong.” Lois shrugged. “Let’s not question it and just be happy.”
“I’m very happy!” He drew her into his arms again, both of them savoring the sweet moment. “I love you,” he whispered.
“Love you too,” she responded, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
Still in awe, Clark settled them both down back onto the bed, and Lois rested her head against his chest while he stroked her back.
“Wow, he’s going to be so happy for Superman…” he said after a moment.
Lois’ head snapped up. “Who? Dr. Klein? You can’t actually tell him! What if he figures out our secret?”
Clark winked at her. “Come on, Lois… he is my best friend.”
the end
FDK can go in this thread if you choose. ❤️
