|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166
Pulitzer
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166 |
I love the name GENETHICS. Great play on words! .... I like this! You make Clark so real. I hate it when everyone acts like he is never affected by his work. Nobody asked if it was hard for him to do his rescues, nobody ever saw him weep, except Lois. He tried to hide it, like he tried to hide every pain, physical and emotional. But she saw it, she felt it and it had made her cry more than one time. .... I liked this, too. It's a part of his very being to help people. He needed to help people like he needed air to breathe. In fact, helping people was even more vitally important for him, since he could hold his breath for about twenty minutes. ..... Great story. This part flowed well! 
~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part.  “Lois, I’m not a baby and I’m not totally invalid. I need to get up, Dr. Klein advised me to walk around. Speaking of that, have you seen my crutches?”
“They are next to your bed, Clark,” Lois replied.
“They aren’t, else I would have seen them.” He shrugged.
“I didn’t take them.” Lois stated. Husband never fined anything. :rolleyes: More ASAP, please. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020 |
I spent a few weeks on crutches in 1985. I had to go up and down stairs daily. After almost killing myself I started going down by sitting on the steps and bumping down each step till I was at the next to the last step. Much safer and quicker than trying to go down using the crutches.
Framework4
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
I get a real kick out of seeing Lois and Clark in your story. In the feedback thread for the previous chapter, I said that this Clark is a very "sane" man. Oh, of course he's sane, but I can now see that I was looking for another word. Consider this paragraph: *Damn pride,* he thought, but avoided saying it out loud. He knew what Lois would reply. And she would be right. But he wasn’t in the mood to hear her saying it.
So Clark tried to look like he was doing perfectly fine, but who was he going to fool? Definitely not Lois, she knew him almost better than Martha. Lois didn’t comment on Clark’s wish to see Perry and Jimmy in the living room. She knew that he needed to feel free to go there, even if he wasn’t in any condition to. Clark wasn’t always rational. But her life had depended on his being unreasonable more than once. She forgave him his constant need to be the strong one, unable to let go. Clark isn't always rational or reasonable. And he clings desperately to his pride, when he shouldn't. He pushes himself too hard and far. Then again: Lois's life had depended on Clark's lack of reason more than once. His need to be strong is his greatest vulnerability, and while I can imagine Lois getting exasperated over it now and again, I can also see that she loves him so much for it. He had to be strong, always. Nobody cared about Superman’s feelings. He was either the infallible hero or the enemy who needed to be destroyed mercilessly. Weakness was unacceptable either way. It would cause the death of others or his own. Nobody asked if it was hard for him to do his rescues, nobody ever saw him weep, except Lois. He tried to hide it, like he tried to hide every pain, physical and emotional. But she saw it, she felt it and it had made her cry more than one time.
Lois wondered if he had always been like that. Or had becoming Superman forced this character trade on him? She could only guess or ask Martha. But according to what she remembered from their previous conversations, he had often stayed alone with his pain, not wanting to bother his parents. It made her so furious every time she saw him aching and remaining silent about it. Lois understands Clark, understands his pain, and she wants to soothe his pain, when she is able to. I love how she understands him, and I love how she loves him. And if you didn't know it already, you can always melt me into a puddle of goo with paragraphs like these: Clark woke up slowly. Something warm and tender lay on his stomach. It took him a few moments to realize that it was Lois’ hand. He felt the warmth of her body close to him, her hair tickled his arm. She placed a soft kiss on his chest and Clark opened his eyes.
“Good morning, my love. What a nice way to wake me up,” he said, smiling.
“It’s going to be even better, darling,” Lois replied with a promising grin. “Much better!”
“You make me curious!” Clark stated and embraced his wife.
About twenty minutes later, they were still lying in bed, held tightly in each other’s arms. Okay, now for the sinister A-plot. I never like them much, because they scare me and threaten the happiness of Lois and Clark. The way I understand this, however, somebody is trying to gain access of Superman's genetic code in order to turn ordinary humans - the villain himself? - into superpowered beings as strong as Superman. That is certainly a scary thought. And what is that GENETHICS thing trying to evict the Kents to get control of their farm in Smallville? And why does GENETHICS want the farm? (Could it be because they know that Superman grew up here and that his genes - from shedded skin cells and the like - must be all over the place?) Well, I'm primarily looking forward to seeing more of your Lois and Clark, Bakasi. I love your take on them!  Ann
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,638 Likes: 45
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,638 Likes: 45 |
Well, you scare me!  You really do. I'm very happy to know a very big ocean between me and therest of you. I think you're going to kill me when you find out, how this ends. 
It's never too dark to be cool. 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
 I really love how Lois and Clark are depicted in this story -- I can so totally see them doing these things and reacting this way. And I can't tell you how many times I went "awwww!" while I was reading it (well, Barbara knows, she's got the files *lol*), there's some really awesome moments in this!! ....going to go finish beta reading this, so y'all can find out how it ends. I cannot *wait* to read the comments you guys are going to post once you read the end. hehehehehehe!
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,638 Likes: 45
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,638 Likes: 45 |
Easy, LaraMoon, they're going to kill me.  Somewhere sometime soon. But maybe I can promise you an interesting new idea I'm already quite excited about. If you liked the relationship stuff in this one, I hope you're going to love the next.
It's never too dark to be cool.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
They're not going to kill you!!! Anyway, if they try, all you have to do is call Superman to the rescue. He'll come.  hehehe!
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,638 Likes: 45
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,638 Likes: 45 |
Ahh, now I'm relieved..... 
It's never too dark to be cool.
|
|
|
|
