Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Honesty 17/18

It looks like I'm starting the feedback thread for this part then! Where's gr8shades?

I loved Kaylie's insecurity in the morning after realising she'd slept (in the literal sense) with Jon, and the full-blown-panic-babble mode was brilliant.

There was something amazingly sweet about Jon shooting Sproxton after being so adamant about not wanting to use a weapon, because he had kryptonite and was therefore killing Kaylie.

I can't wait for the next (and, sob, last) part!

- Alisha (who's happy about a sequel, but still determined to be sorry that Honesty's over!)

Who dear? Me dear? Where dear? HERE dear!

Alisha, how VERY dare you!



Beth, your timing is impeccable!

I've been subjected to La Traviata by my boss for the last three nights (and still more to come!). Not that I should complain really - as long as he's happy I don't have to entertain him! And it's not as if I'm averse to a little culture now and then, but well, I've discovered that the joy of opera's not really mine. Anyway, a little discreet LnC reading on my lap went a long way to soothing this savage beastie, so thanks.

Ps. Can I suggest a little fumbling nficcy epilogue?

Great part, Beth!

Wow love the whole nervous virgin thing on both parts, very cute. Nice save at the end Jon, now get her away from the Kryptonite. Laura

Whew, Jon to the rescue!

And a general LOL at breakfast. Really boosts my cooking confidence as I read about yet another round of non-cooks in the L&C world.

JD

Wow... I was gone for like a week, I come back and there’s three new chapters waiting for me! This is just too good!!!

The story is so good, you do good with action. The bad thing is, that it’s chapter 17 out of 18, that’s not good at all.

I loved the way Kaylie could manage being exposed to the kryptonite, and still keep a façade. It was a good thing that Sproxton thought she was getting cold feet, because then he didn’t notice the effects of the kryptonite.

Looking at the briefcase was not a smart thing to do though. How could she have known the kryptonite was there without feeling it? Lucky for her that he didn’t noticed it, and took her reaction to it as fear of shooting him dead.

I also like it where you are taking their relationship. Kaylie is scared to hell of intimacy, poor thing, good thing she found such a sweetheart like Jon who can understand her. Most guys aren’t like that.

Well, looks like the old kissing technique still works. But apparently Kaylies subconsciousness is not good at multi tasking, i.e. being afraid of heights and flying and at the same time feeling loosing the ground because of some kissing apparently doesn't fly

Michael

Alisha, you wrote:

Yes, it is sweet isn't it? Or else you can see it as Kaylie having a corrupting influence on him. First he's using a taser, and soon he'll be knocking out cops alongside her.

gr8shades, I'm more than happy to provide you with a break from too much culture. But unfortunately, I don't write nfic, so you'll have to provide some yourself if you want any.


Thanks Lisa and Laura for commenting as well!

JD, I know what you mean about being a bad cook. And I think some of my lack of talent snuck into Jon and Kaylie. Hopefully, they will get better with time, though. You have to be a pretty bad cook to screw up scrambled eggs!

dedecasale:

This shows off some of her NIA training, I think. It's not everyone who can pretend nothing's happening when they're being exposed to Kryptonite for the first time.

Kaylie is a little unsure of herself, that's for sure. One of the things that interests me is that her relationship with Jon has made her less independent both in her personal life and in her professional life, yet she's happier because of it.

Michael, I just saw your post when mine came up. I'm under the opinion that kissing always works.

Nobody else but the dad in this family cooks? Sheesh, the kids might have starved if not for Clark.

I also liked Jon's shocking reaction to Kaylie's danger. But now that they have Sproxton, both sets of Kryptonite, and the controls to the machine, what's left?

Oh, yeah. The kissy part. The part they'll tell to embarrass their teenagers in several years. (I've learned that teens get totally grossed out when their parents talk about their romantic youth. Can't imagine why.) The part all the B-plot loving lady readers are waiting for.

Oh, well, yeah, I'm waiting for it too. So where is it?

Oh, lots of good stuff. And I haven't time to comment properly

--Liked Kaylie's "morning after" panic babble
--Jon's a sweetie - got that from his dad. Cooking skills seem to have come from mom
--I loved that he got her flying while kissing
--Loved the "you drive, I'll fly" division of duties

Kaylie's a trooper, and Jon rose to the occasion. Like I said, good stuff here.

PJ

Terry, I'm assuming this pun was intentional. I'm always a sucker for a really bad pun. The kissy part will be up within a few days.

PJ, thanks for giving me some feedback. I always appreciate it. Your comments are always better than anything I ever say to writers even when I do have the time.