Wendy, Tank, everybody - thanks for commenting
Unfortunately, I didn't spot the plot problems existing in here before posting - you guys made some good points, which hadn't crossed my mind before, and I agree on some counts. Another reason why I'm so so so glad this a WIP and not a finished piece - it would have really, really sucked if I had the story all written at this point
Pending further negotiations with my betas [translation - helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllp, Rat, Roger, Sas!!!!!!] I'll be working on this over the next few days [aiming to have this smoothed over within a week, if these relentless, blinding headaches decide to quit
] and I really do hope that what I come up with makes sense this time. My head's just going round in circles at the moment, so it may take a while... but I'll hopefully get there in the end.
Sara
