Wow, lots of buzz...
I personally like the idea of recommendation lists. We sort of stopped having them a few years back -- I think they were casualties of the fandom split that was in process for two (agonizing) years. There were two sides, and if someone from Side A had a list that failed to include stories by someone on Side B, when there was already bad feelings in the mix, it tended to provoke fights. Heck, if someone from Side A said something nice about a story from another Side A writer, all of Side B would rise up in indignation at the unfairness of it all. That's been years ago, though, and I think that particular factor would no longer be a problem.
The
"oh no, such-and-so didn't include my story in her list and therefore she obviously thinks I suck" factor, however, might still be around. My tendency is to tell such people to grow up.
Maybe she forgot your story, maybe she hasn't read it, or maybe she didn't like it all that much, but please don't assume she thinks it sucks unless she comes out and says it does. It's nice to see your name on lists (and I'll be honest: whenever I see such lists I automatically scan for my name
) but not being mentioned is not the end of the world, either.
I'd rather that if people put my stories on lists, it's because they really like them, not because they're being kind to a has-been
or they think I'll sulk if they don't. No pity recs, please.
Now, this is not the same thing as "avoid these stories/authors at all costs" lists, but we've never had those and we wouldn't tolerate them if someone tried it.
I'm all in favor of us being nice to each other, you understand. There's no need to go out of your way to hurt someone, but then if you go too far out of your way *not* to hurt someone, you run into other problems.
I've got this problem in my house, actually -- my daughter loves to sing. God's given her lots of gifts, but singing ain't one of them -- she can't carry a tune in a bucket. But she thinks she's great. Do I tell her she sucks? Nope, never would. But if I let her keep thinking she's a terrific singer, am I just setting her up for a really nasty surprise somewhere down the line when someone else tells her that her singing sucks? False praise can end up being really destructive.
Of course, I'm responsible for her in a way that we aren't responsible for each other, so don't anybody feel compelled to go critique something
I think what I'm trying to say is that I've learned a *lot* about writing in the past ten years. Has there been criticism? Oh my, yes. Did it hurt? Yeah, it did. But this world isn't about me, so I built up a thicker skin and kept going, trying to learn from the negative things people said. Hurt feelings are a part of life, unfortunately, and we need to learn to deal with them.
PJ
