Now there's a good question...
I think I'm of creative nature. I love creating stories. I can remember myself thinking up various scenarios since I was little, whether to keep me from getting bored, or to lull myself to sleep; scenarios that ranged from 'what I'm going to do tomorrow' to 'what my life's gonna be when I grow up'. I don't think I wrote, back then, but I remember I once drew a comic with Donald and Daisy. I was about 5.
A couple of times I tried to keep a diary, but it didn't work. I think my first 'organized' attempt at writing was writing a few poems when I was 9. I had a friend help me with those sometimes, but it was me who actually did most of the work
They were quite good, I believe. For a ten-year-old's standards.
When I got a computer (I was around 10), I was into soap-operas. Unable to wait for the next episode to come up, I would write dialogues of my own on how things could turn out. Soon, I started writing about heroes I had invented myself as well, but only the dialogues and some 'directions' (i.e. 'frowns', 'walks to the door' etc.); I could see the scene playing in my head, but I didn't care about describing the ambient or what they looked like. Everything was in my head in perfect detail, I just... didn't care enough to write it down, I guess.
At 12, I wrote a fairy-tale in this fashion, and we played it at my theater class. We were kids 9-12 years old, so the performance was rather lacking (on the others' behalf; I did fine
) but it was a quite decent play.
Later, I stopped writing so manically, spending hours typing in the computer as I had previously been. But I'd occasionally write about an idea that sprang to mind - by then, I had outgrown the 'strictly dialogue' syndrom - and once I tried writing something I later found out was called 'A Harry Potter fanfic, starring Mary Sue'
All the while, I worked many stories in my mind - about my life and my future, but also continuations of shows I watched, a good part of them L&C. When I found out about the existence of fanfic (a few months before I turned 15), I started writing them down. And posting them.
Like Yvonne and Sheila, I'm not the natural writer who just sits down and the words flow like a river. I sometimes think I could work better as a director, or script-writer; I have visuals in my head, I can picture everything to the tiniest detail yet can't bring myself to put it down to words. I tried to put it down to sketches and pencil drawings, but I can't convey 'reality' in my drawings. Everything I draw is flat, one-dimensional and lacking in detail. The picture is clear in my head, but my hand won't cooperate
When I was little, I consumed pages and pages in drawings. I still make a habit of it (most often, on my desk during class; I can't sit completely still during classes where I don't have to take notes), but now that I grow up I'm also trying for quality; and, seeing how I don't seem able to achieve the quality I want, it's not that much of an outlet.
Writing was easier to resort to. I had the means and, well, maybe not really the talent, but the ability. And I've loved reading since I can remember myself, so writing came out as an extension of that; therefore, I liked it too. Besides, as I was mostly dialogue-orientated for a long time, it was quite easy. Moving on to book-like writing came naturally, altough I had a hard time learning to write introspection (and I'm still struggling on descriptions). I'm getting better with practice, though, and being very pleased with something I wrote happens to me more and more often
Lately, I find myself so overwhelmed with (Harry Potter) ideas that, when I don't have time to write, I'm feeling miserable. For the first time in my life, I found myself working my stories in longhand during a boring class - especially scenes that are to come 'later' but are stuck in my head. I don't like writing manually because it's much harder to edit - I want to be able to edit everything over and over, because I'm a perfectionist. But sometimes I just need to let it out.
So writing for me is:
- Self-expression. I create my stories in my head, but when I want to see them fleshed out, I have no other means but to write them.
- Self-gratification. I enjoy writing. Even though it's not unusual for me to get stuck on something that doesn't come out the way I want it, I enjoy the process of writing and to see what it results to. I don't know whether it became an enjoyment because it's the only way I can express myself, or if I had it in me; but the fact remains. And when I feel inspired and the words are flowing out freely, I feel like I'm in heaven.
- Entertainment. I have fun creating my stories. They keep me busy and give me a way to experience things I'd love to but can't, for one reason or the other.
- Because I can't
not write. I'm not sure I feel this way, but, pondering my 'writing career' as I did above, I realized that my need to create appeared early; if writing is the expression of it, I can't suppress it. And since I was 9, I'm always writing something or the other; even when I could claim to be on hiatus, I'll try to write something, maybe something original, because I want to get out of it. I don't know whether I like writing, but I can tell you for sure I don't like
not writing.
One more thing; I do want recognition for my efforts. And I'd like to become a famous writer, or at least a popular fanfic writer. But that's not why I write. I mean, I'd also like to become a famous pianist, but I haven't touched the piano since last June
About the second question... I recently found out my answer is 'absolutely yes':
I had spent months working on a Harry Potter fic. I had also given it to a couple of RL friends to read it and give me their opinions. It's a long fic I very much enjoyed writing and am quite satisfied with how it's turned out.
I started posting it a little more than a month ago, while I had already started working on the sequel. The review number was disappointing; the first review came days later, and the for first couple of parts (i.e. more than two weeks) I had only one reviewing reader. But I didn't feel bad about it. I'd have continued posting it anyway - and
of course I wouldn't give up on the sequel. I enjoyed writing it to no end. I still do, in fact. But, you know, I enjoy the result too. There are stories of mine I read over and over, just because I like them. This is one of them.
On the other hand, I also like receiving feedback. It makes my day to know somebody has taken the time to read my story, especially when they liked it
I've found I'm more likely to share a fanfic than an original story, though. Strangely enough, even when an RL friend had only a vague idea of the fandom I was writing about, I still preferred giving them one of the fics I wrote to read, and not something original. I don't know why.
I think that what I wrote doesn't make much sense, not to mention I think I might have contradicted myself a couple of times. To tell you the truth, I'm not 100% sure why I write; I just tried to guess, here. In any case, thanks for the poll, Lynn; it's been fascinating reading all the responses and trying to figure out what mine is.
See ya,
AnnaBtG.
P.S.: Count me in the crowd that still creates mind-stories to be lulled to sleep. I think I'll never grow out of it
