Hey, DJ,
I think it worked okay as a single-chaptered story, so don't worry about that
(Some people write multi-chaptered stories with chapters this long!) Though if it was to be any longer you might have had to split it in two.
I took a look to see where you put your scene breaks, and you've worked them out really well
Somebody might think it doesn't make much difference - I mean, hey, you might see a line-break but you'll keep reading anyway! But I guess it has some kind of subliminal effect on the reader. Or maybe it's just me
See ya,
AnnaBtG.
