This is so very interesting. And Lois is just so - so Lois! She's charging ahead and diving in without checking the water level, and her actions with Louie will almost certainly impact her life almost immediately. For one thing, friendly old Louie won't be taking any more candy from this baby. It's too expensive.
And Lois meeting Clark at this point in time, when he's less mature and less experienced, is bound to cause lots of trouble. No matter what theory of time travel one subscribes to, Lois has already altered her past in a substantial manner. Her life isn't going to unfold as she remembered it. This trip may precipitate a bigger argument with her father, or it may cause him to think more highly of her than he did before because she has taken on 'adult' responsibilities and has done something totally unexpected. And Lois might also create a rift between Clark and Lana now instead of letting their relationship fade out on its own, which might also cause lots of serious problems.
At any rate, I like the direction so far. I can't give you any guidance to improve this story, because it's so wonderful! And the first person omniscient viewpoint is unique in LC fanfic, as far as I'm aware. We see everything through Lois's eyes, but since she's already lived it, she knows what's going to happen. (At least, so far she has.)
I wonder if Lois's new attitude will significantly impact her relationship with either her mother or her sister. I know I wish I'd behaved differently in the past in relation to my brother and my parents, so maybe this adventure will be more significant for the Lane family than we might expect.
So, is the next part ready yet?
