So you've tried several times just to be sure?
I promised. And I meant it. So now, it's time for some serious FDK.
Let us begin at the very beginning. The pencil, and Lois' rant thereupon. Sheer brilliance. Got us straight into Lois' head (always an interesting, if sometimes a bit scary, place to be), while also setting the scene. Four paragraphs in, we not only know what she's thinking and feeling, but we already know something interesting happened between her and Clark.
And then Cat's comment, and Clark's reaction. Yup, definitely setting the scene!
So now we know that there is going to be a great B plot. But it wouldn't be a Sue story without a spectacular A plot as well. One flashback later, and we get the teasing beginnings of the A plot -- and what a doozy! Electricity and murder, oh my!
Back to the B plot. The flashbacks have gotten very interesting, and Clark is smart enough to realize:
The answer was simple. She was going to kill him.
Yup. Of course. The question is simply when, and how.
And then Martha and Jonathan. I really like your Martha! And throwing out Clark so he would finally go TALK with Lois was a nice touch.
And talk they did.
Including:
"This was all I ever wanted, Lois. Just to be near you. Just to hold you."
Wow. What woman doesn't want to hear that every so often? *melts*
And the "honey" bit was adorable.
And brought us full circle, back to the pencil. Nice touch!
All in all, I'm definitely glad you spent the time pg-ifying the fic.
