I understand what you and Elisabeth are saying. Really. And in fact, I didn't want to say anything more about this, because it sounds like I'm picking a fight. (I'm not, really.)
But I will say there is a difference between working at keeping your feelings for your husband/wife, etc. that you still have some feelings for, or once had feelings for, and trying to force yourself to have feelings that you don't have.
(I've done both, by the way.)
Guilt about not having feelings that you should have can be a powerful force. To me, this is what a lot of "Learning to Love" was about on Lois's part. (I remember her saying things like "I want to want to." (ie - her fear of sleeping with Clark) Some of that was her rape and trust issues, but I thought some of that was the double - edged guilt.
She wants to feel about Clark the way he does about her, but she knows that's not real love. So she was careful about making sure it wasn't just guilt.
But I digress.
I know Jonathan believes he's trying to give Clark good advice. And even though he still does make me want to scream sometimes, I also understand he's never been in the situation of facing that guilt of not loving someone you believe you should. So I know I should cut him some slack.
