So, this was the best thing I have read in what feels like ages:
"This. Us. I can't do it." I'd come to that realization since Christmas, and now that the tears had started; I couldn't stop them. "You're still in love with Lana – and I can deal with that. I won't lie and say it doesn't hurt just a bit that my husband loves another woman but I knew what I was getting into when we agreed to stay married. But the rest of it... When we lived in the dorms together, we had fun. Last year, we were friends but now... I'm not sure that even 'acquaintance' defines our relationship – unless we're in public outside of work and then we're all lovey dovey. I can't deal with the total dichotomy, with the loss of one of my best friends. I realize that it's unlikely we'll ever be friends like that again and I do regret that. And, you know, it's not like I expect you to fall in love with me or anything like that, but the total disconnect... I didn't expect that and I can't deal with it any longer. I miss you. We live together. We sleep together and, somehow, I still miss you."
I've been wanting Lois to come to that realization since all this bitterness started to occur. Not that I wanted Clark to take her up on it, mind you, but I so wanted Lois to start feeling a little more steel in her backbone, so thank you for that.
I don't think that they were out of character in these last two sections. What I see is two people trying to come to a tenuous truce. Even though Lois gave the above speech, I don't think she *really* wanted it to go through. This is one of those things where you feel like your sacrifice is the best thing to do for the person you love. She's willing to let Clark go and get his ALC (after Lois and Christopher) life on instead of making him suffer through a five year farce. The fact that he's pretty convincing about staying and doing better has got to make her feel better, just it's still not the 'everything' she could desire.
And after that whole tense conversation, they go and watch movies together and teeter around another ALC conversation. Again, I think from Lois's perspective, she is trying to be the mature one and prove to him that she understands his predicament. Basically, 'I know you don't love me, I understand this is hard, but I want to be your friend, and if that means I fillet my heart just so you have someone to talk to, I will do that... because I *do* love *you*.' Then again, that might be too Hollywood, ya think?
I guess what I'm saying is that I understand how they could have gone from bitter, non-communicative, spiteful individuals to attempting to reconnect with awkward truce talk by their first anniversary. I think its important to recall that this is year 1 (time is flying), so there has to be *some* personal growth happening behind the scenes too. So, yes, I understand it--but that doesn't necessarily mean I like it.
Clark kissing Lois and demanding 'Is this what you want?' made me want to slap him too. I can't ignore that he's responding to 'something' that boiled up in him (methinks it's a combustive mixture of lust and denial), but he's responding in the wrong way. I guess that was the Kryptonian way of saying 'You think I'm not attracted to you?! The problem is that I *am* attracted to you! [insert Kryptonian curse here]'
We are easing back into friend territory (I like that) with a bit of cuddling on the side (I like that too). There have been some cautionary fdk's that have been averse to intimacy, but I'm firmly in the camp that thinks cuddling is okay. I agree that sex is out, but cuddling is harmless, right? :evil grin:
Okay, previews lend themselves to speculation: We're going to Smallville? Will *this* be the time that the Green Glow of Home makes its presence known? RAFO!
BTW- this addiction thing is really hard to kick. I don't know how we're all going to make it...
~s
(who needs... more... stat!)
