I don't think we're going to see Clark become disillusioned with Lana in this story. The title of the next one is "Unanswered Prayers," and the song of that title by Garth Brooks is about a guy who thanks God that his prayers to marry his ex-girlfriend weren't answered. So I think that's where the Lana-disillusion will occur.
I think I'm more with grinch than with the rest of you. I did like how Lois exploded and told Clark she couldn't do it any more. I might have bought Clark's response more if we had seen more of the harassment from Navance instead of a passing mention some weeks later of it having happened. I think you need to include a Navance scare re Christopher prior to these last few sections, maybe letting us in on part of the letter from Navance after he learned Christopher was born, threatening to take his "son" and train him as his successor. That would give Clark a strong, obvious reason to refuse to leave the marriage.
Similarly, I don't see any reason why Lois would suddenly think she was in love with Clark. He's been a total jerk to her for a year--their entire marriage--and for her to decide she loves him makes her sound too much like someone who enjoys being neglected or abused. After all, they were only acquaintances and friends for a grand total of 4 months, and he's been a sullen, snippy jerk for 13 months. Which one is she going to feel is the real Clark?
I know you said she fell in love with him more each time she saw him with Christopher, but we haven't seen any of that. We haven't really seen Clark just playing with Christopher and Lois watching the two of them with her heart about to swell out of her chest from some emotion she can hardly identify. Telling us after the fact is never as convincing as showing us as it happens.
Sorry, Carol. Here I am, demanding more scenes. Ah, well, put my requests with your notes to look at after you finish the rough draft. In the meantime, don't worry about them; just keep writing.
