Michael: hyper It must be the weekend!

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Ooooh! Is this going to be another part about Clark’s exes?
Kind-of sort of, not really. I think the part you're looking for is #54.

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Nah, considering what he put up with, it must have been because she put out for him. Huh, what’s that? She didn’t? Huh. Okay, then he must be Kryptonian. They have the *weirdest* boudoir practices on that piece of green rock.
CLARK: No comment. [Linked Image]

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So, Stockholm Syndrome?
clap

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Well, that *was* how it started with Lana.
Um... technically... it started with the bounce, then lead to that.

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Less-obnoxious perfume?
True. huh Clark never cared enough to ask what alt-Max was up to when he last saw Rachel.

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Well, she was military, so she might have dug up some crystals and tried to vanquish the alien threat.
Nope, she's good military, not psycho military.

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That would have been awkward.
After he and Rachel had moved on.

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So, the Kents?
Yep. Those radical hippy types.

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Can you imagine *that* gossip?
MR. HARRIS: eek [Linked Image]

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So, Max put some potassium chloride into his dad’s beer?
MAX: I plead the 5th.... I mean, no comment. I mean, you're under arrest for slander!

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So, getting arrested in Smallville is worse than getting arrested by a stereotypical Middle-to-South American militia captain? And Clark doesn’t even have his powers to protect Lois from the frequent dangers of prison in such an environment.
[Linked Image]

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But he’s the guy who took Lana away from Walt!
Leaving Walt dateless for Prom night.

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Wouldn’t that show the world that he’s broken up with his best bud? Plus, wouldn’t the Town Banker hold significant sway over the townsfolk if they misbehaved like that?
MR. LANG: I find it best not to anger the hoards... I mean, the customers, who might then make a run on the bank.

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Yes, it is. Had he not taken Lana away from Walt, Rachel would still be alive.
SEE!

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Rachel’s daughter with Clark?
Wrong dimension. Walt was stocky with red hair. Rachel was blonde. Not ravishing blonde like Lana, more dishwater blonde.

LANA: Thank you for the clarification.

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From the Smallville Smalls?
Thems the ones.

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Umm… Shotgun wedding with Hank?
Let's just say Hank's more well-mannered than Walt. <a shotgun wasn't needed>

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Uh-oh. Walt didn’t with Rachel. He did with Lana, who was already with Hank at the time. And Rachel found out in the car and started to hit him or something.
RACHEL: What would I care? It was just a first (and LAST) date, IMO.

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Oh dear. That’s going to traumatize Lois. Also, I’m thinking he realized this a tad late.
Traumatize Lois? Why? Because he loved someone before meeting her? Or because all of Clark's loves seem to be danger-prone? Probably best not to introduce her to dead Mayson, then, huh?

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Ooooh! That can be interpreted as him not liking her *at all* or that *that* isn’t his Lana
CLARK: Besides the female form, I also minored in double-speak (under the political science wing of humanities).

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Eeeeehhh…she’ll get over that one. Only takes a deserted island.
LOIS: Tahiti?

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He must be bonkers.
LOIS: Clearly!

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Or, maybe, kiss the stuffing out of her, throw her over his shoulder, and carry her to the Lexor Honeymoon Suite.
LOIS: Well, he could try that, but I'm not going to say that I liked it.

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That’s not the romantic speaking. That’s her hard-up naughty side screaming for release.
So, once she got her release, she'll not want Clark anymore?

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Yes. And apparently Lucy knew that.
laugh

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Lois. A ‘bad boy’ smokes, drinks, treats women cavalierly, drives a motorcycle, wears leather and looks good in it, and doesn’t hold a reputable job. Ralph on the other hand, he’s just a disgusting creep.
LOIS: Oh, I thought disgusting creep was just a sub-section of bad boy. My mista... er... misunderst... er... Well, he IS bad!

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Outcast son of a ruling house. Married but on the prowl for new tail. Looks good in leather. Prime example of a bad boy.
Alt-LANA: He never said he was nobelity! wallbash

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/draws picture of Lois in torn clothing, chained to a four-poster bed and Lex kneeling above her ready to claim his spoils/ There, does that help?
ROMANCE, Michael, not HORROR, or GOTHIC ROMANCE.

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No, he probably just thinks that Lois looks like she’s ready for a repeat performance of the final minute in Rachel’s life.
Crashing the truck?

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Ooooh! Kryptonite in the air?
Possibly. cool

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That was a sneaky one!
Strange. I thought it was obvious.

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*Now* she’s changing?
Well, they are WALKING over to the Irigs' farm.

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She going to get caught by B39?
[Linked Image]

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Poor Perry
Yep, there goes his blood pressure again.

VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.