Thanks, Katrina, for getting back to me last night! I reposted the listing of scores, including both of mine, with
Sunrise, Sunset listed under "Allyse." As Mere says, there's no guarantee that the first listing in the different scorecards match up to the same judge, or even within each scorecard.
Section 1 - Opening Hook: Two questions for consideration, min. 2 pts/max 10 pts.Mere: 7, 7, 4, 10
Lynn: 6, 6, 10, 8
Allyse: 5, 9, 5, 10
Hazel: 8, 9, 10, 10
Section 2 - Characterization: One question for consideration, min. 1 pts/max 5 pts.Mere: 5, 5, 5, 5
Lynn: 2, 2, 5, 4
Allyse: 2, 5, 1, 5
Hazel: 4, 4, 5, 4
Section 3 - Plot: Two questions for consideration, min. 2 pts/max 10 pts.Mere: 8, 8, 8, 10
Lynn: 10, 3, 9, 10
Allyse: 3, 9, 5, 5
Hazel: 10, 4, 5, 9
Section 4 - Setting: One question for consideration, min. 1 pts/max 5 pts.Mere: 5, 5, 5, 5
Lynn: 5, 4, 5, 5
Allyse: 2, 5, 3, 5
Hazel: 5, 5, 5, 5
Section 5 - Dialogue: Two questions for consideration, min. 2 pts/max 10 pts.Mere: 8, 10, 10, 8
Lynn: 7, 8, 10, 10
Allyse: 2, n/a, 10, 3
Hazel: 8, 10, 5, 8
Section 6 - Style: One question for consideration, min. 1 pts/max 5 pts.Mere: 4, 4, 5, 4
Lynn: 5, 3, 5, 5
Allyse: 2, 5, 5, 5
Hazel: 4, 5, 3, 5
Section 7 - Mechanics and Pacing: Four questions for consideration, min. 4 pts/max 20 pts.Mere: 15, 15, 18, 18
Lynn: 18, 10, 16, 18
Allyse: 15, 20, 15, 18
Hazel: 15, 12, 15, 18
Section 8 - Point Of View: Two questions for consideration, min. 2 pts/max 10 pts.Mere: 10, 10, 10, 9
Lynn: 4, 7, 10, 10
Allyse: 8, 10, 7, 10
Hazel: 9, 6, 10, 9
Here are the comments for
Sunrise, Sunset , with the caveat that the e-mail made it very unclear exactly who was saying what. I might have added two judges' comments together, or split one judge's comments apart.
1. What did you especially like/dislike about the hero/heroine or both?"To be honest, I’m not sure who the hero and heroine of this story are."
"The introspection was interesting."
"The situation is realistic, but the only hook is to find out whose POV this is. It is very frustrating that this is never answered. Is this an LnC story? The characterization is beautiful, but nothing ever connects it to the genre. I assume the story is about Martha and Jonathan, but nothing in the story ever indicates this. The scene could easily be used for an infinite number of communitites outside the Superman universe without any alteration."
2. What are two areas you felt were done well? Tell why."There’s lovely imagery in this piece (…with the sun as it gives its final curtsey at the edge of the world.)"
"The rhythm of the story was incredibly well done and the softness of Martha’s thought was well expressed. First person present tense is very hard to handle effectively and this author manages to do so well. I especially like the lyrical writing style of the author of this vignette. I felt the pulse of nature connecting the hero and heroine. I like how the writer portrayed the happiness found by the hero and heroine in the beauty of sunrise and sunset in comparison to grueling farm work. It was poetic and inspiring."
"I also thought the writer got inside the hero’s head, understanding his goals, motives and conflict. I felt his need to see the sunrise to start his day. I like the philosophical musings the Point of View character takes the reader into. It’s a peaceful, pleasant journey."
"This writer has a great feel for Mother Nature. The setting connected with the characters in a deep, meaningful way."
"Great descriptions."
"A beautiful story."
3. What are two areas you feel need work? Tell why – suggestions?"I’m not so sure it needs work mechanically, but it needs more in the way of explaining who it is, what is going on and when it’s happening."
"Watch the punctuation."
5. Anything else?"It was well written. I gave it the maximum score for mechanics and pacing because it met every criteria for that category."
"What I liked best about this entry. Very sound mechanically. Good grasp of writing. It was an interesting introspection piece."
"What, in my opinion, need more work. Is this part of a larger body of work? I have no idea if this is Lois and Clark, Martha and Jonathan or someone else. Is this perhaps set years after Nightfall and the outcome wasn’t as positive as on the show? It’s well written, but very vague."
Comments for
The Evil Stepmother\'s Manifesto , with the same disclaimer:
What did you especially like or dislike about the hero/heroine or both?"I love the characterization in this piece. Both Lois and Clark were very in keeping with their characters on the show. Both kept in character."
"I especially liked the traits you gave the hero and heroine to make them real. I loved how you moved them through the scene. The story flows well."
What are two areas you felt were well done? "Very good maintenance of POV. Interesting plot; I loved the fairy tale hook. Very good touch."
"The dialogue was excellent and the scene was exceptionally well done."
"Story jumps right into the action and pulls the reader along/"
What are two areas you felt needed work? Tell why and make suggestions."Work on eliminating adverbs. Use stronger verbs"
Anything else? "Overall I gave this vignette high marks because it easily met the criteria of each of the categories but on the whole I was left feeling dissatisified."
"The vignette seemed to be the beginning of a longer story and it seemed that I, as the reader, was given only the prologue."
"What I liked best about this entry. I felt it was a terrific story. The characterizations were spot-on, the dialogue was definitely in character and the sequence of events rolled effortlessly. I also liked the fairy tale hook; it was so creative."
***
So, what do I think? I think that I am very very glad to discover the change in the points system, and the comments do seem much more in keeping with the scores now. I do wish Katrina had announced the change in scores *before* sending out the scorecards, so that no one would have needed to experience unnecessary distress. But everyone's entitled to some growing pains.
I'm honored to receive an Honorable Mention, but not entirely sure I've actually earned it. My score for that story was 214, while my other fic earned 234. Lynn had 240. I'm hoping Katrina will clarify this for us.
On a final, personal note, I enthusiastically agree with the judge that suggested I might want to go easy on the adverbs.
Hazel
