Nice, Alicia! Great introspection, and exactly the sort of thing Clark would be thinking -- as we saw in WHALTTA, when Clark is hurt, he assumes the worst, and goes on the offensive.
The only weird thing I saw was near the end -- when Lois kneels down before Clark, there had been no mention of Clark sitting down, so it gave me a strange mental image.
It makes a lot more sense if he's sitting.
This vignette is primarily about the inside of Clark's head, which you do a great job of exploring... you don't have a chance to get inside Lois's head at all. We know what she's thinking, and we know that Clark is dead wrong <g> but still... I dunno, she may have been a little *too* self-confident, there at the end. Of course, I don't know what she'd been talking about with M&J -- maybe they told her that Clark's been head over heels for her for two years now
But without seeing that... On the show it seemed like she was a lot more hesitant and beating around the bush -- here, even though Clark "storms in" and spoke "icily," she's not thrown off her stride.
Mind you, I don't want her to leave at this point!
But maybe a little more hesitation, beating around the bush -- maybe she starts to panic, but Martha reassures her... it just seems she ought to have a little bit more of a reaction to Clark's uncharacteristic behavior, since he's usually so laid-back.
When their faces were only inches apart, he whispered, "Thank you." Those two words were so insufficient to express the emotions he felt.
I *loved* this.
And maybe a smidgen more of smoochies at the end wouldn't hurt
Do they stand up to kiss, btw? Otherwise it seems awkward, what with Clark's knees in the way and all
Great work, Alicia! Hope you don't mind my suggestions, but you did ask!
PJ
